Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML
Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML
Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML
Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML
Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML
Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML
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Top comments
reapfml 0
brush yo teefs fool
ReyEr9412 0
Bad dental care is also linked to SHUT THE **** UP
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Comments (117)
bloodhoundbambam 0
There's a guy in my school who's breath is even worse. If u look for 10 sec in his face while he's talking I feel like I have to vormit. The smell is really really unbeareble I never look him in the face, cause its impossible of the smell. (He's not someone I like tho. Not at all I hate that guy)
ctgirl12345 0
ummm well maybe you have taught your little son to brush his teeth. and maybe you should start brushing.
Sennamacher 0
Ew... I've had bad breath before (usually after I wake up in the morning before I brush my teeth) but never so bad that I can smell it on myself...
Laurendorcus 0
Maybe having bad breathe is her new version of birth control, obviously her last contraception failed. :-)
killabee 0
Tonsil stones. Google that.
MadeOfAwesome 1
Yeah, I recommend you don't. I already know what they are, and ignorance is truly bliss.
rachelbrianna25 0
EW! Omg, I work at a hotel, and so many ppl come in & leave with bad breath. It's so nasty.
kingwaldo 0
Grøss.
xlostwithoutu 0
øh mÿ... fåñčÿ łëttēr...
peacockfeather 0
WIN
perdix 31
I'm sure your husband appreciated the thorough rim job and salad tossing. ♫ The things we do for love. ♫
swimspy 3
hahaha I bet tht everyone who said she shld floss more are dentists daughters and sons!!!!
CYNNER 0
#37 its probably just people that care about they're hygene. i'm one of the people who said that and my dad has bad breath and he's a mechanic. he just has no teeth to floss.
manstie 1
Maybe if your dog stopped crapping in your fridge then you might randomly pick out some decent food, yeah?