Miscellaneous: Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter...

By Anonymous - 24/05/2015 14:14 - United States - Berwyn

Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 303

You deserved it 2 589

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Same thing different taste

By Chan - 23/01/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 112

You deserved it 40 572

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 5 243

The runs

By Anonymous - 04/01/2021 04:58

Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 529

Good smell

By smellslikeroses - 30/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 1 916

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 00:06 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 707

You deserved it 2 203

By noname - 03/01/2009 03:26 - France

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 555

You deserved it 2 601

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 501

By dontpeeonmenxtime - 29/12/2011 14:51 - United States

Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 014

You deserved it 3 045

By Harry Dare - 02/09/2011 16:31 - United Kingdom

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 993

You deserved it 4 322

Flavor of the month

By potpurri_needed - 10/06/2009 17:37 - United States

Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 192

You deserved it 60 986

MELKOZAR 27

Monday 25 May 2015 0:11

Somebody has been eating too much asshole.

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 25 May 2015 0:09

Lots of things can be the cause of bad breath (it's not always poor dental hygiene), but unless you let your hubby know, then he wont be able to do anything about it.

Comments

missmisery86 11

Sunday 24 May 2015 23:56

ugh yuck thats the worst but you cant really say anything without embarassing or offending the other person. just casually offer him a mint or something

leogachi 15

Monday 25 May 2015 1:11

It's her husband, for ***** sake. What exactly is embarrassing about your spouse telling you that your breath is bad in the privacy of your own home?

fakedsincerity 32

Monday 25 May 2015 1:19

If you can have sex with your partner to make a child you can surely tell them (kindly) their breath smells. Jeez.

martin8337 35

Monday 25 May 2015 4:46

Bullcrap, tell him that he has dragon breath maybe he'll brush his teeth more often, like 3 times a day.

jryan2 16

Monday 25 May 2015 6:49

*gets told he has dragon breath,tries breathing fire*

SilverZephyr 20

Monday 25 May 2015 15:34

#39 Same

pimpmilk69 18

Sunday 24 May 2015 23:56

that's a stinky situation.

Kailayla 29

Sunday 24 May 2015 23:58

If his breath really smells that horrid, he should probably go see a dentist

DavidMcClain 12

Sunday 24 May 2015 23:59

Gum does ease maybe

DavidMcClain 12

Monday 25 May 2015 0:01

*disease jesus christ

irish_lad 16

Sunday 24 May 2015 23:59

Just tell him. He mightn't like to hear it but if it bothers you, you should tell him

Count_Sekcpants 13

Monday 25 May 2015 0:00

Did he eat one of Spongebob's sundaes again?

flopstar 21

Monday 25 May 2015 0:05

Just turn the other way & wait the night out, my prayers go to you.

stingray112 24

Monday 25 May 2015 0:09

Wow your husband has bad breath your life must be atrocious. Believe it or not they do make toothpaste and mints for situations like these.

leogachi 15

Monday 25 May 2015 1:13

Well aren't you a condescending little twat.

Pat5519 14

Monday 25 May 2015 5:23

You are an idiot.

Pat5519 14

Monday 25 May 2015 5:34

Sorry #22, I didn't mean you. #11 is the idiot and I'm sure that 11 has never been in a relationship with a "real" person based on their pic..so what do they know...

Unbearable_fml 21

Monday 25 May 2015 0:09

Make sure he brushed his teeth better, or offer him a mint!

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 25 May 2015 0:09

Lots of things can be the cause of bad breath (it's not always poor dental hygiene), but unless you let your hubby know, then he wont be able to do anything about it.