Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML
Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML
Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML
Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML
Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML
Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML
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Top comments
reapfml 0
brush yo teefs fool
ReyEr9412 0
Bad dental care is also linked to SHUT THE **** UP
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Comments (117)
devyn0426 3
how In the hell does yo mouth smell like poop???? do u spend ur free time eating crap???? WTF, brush ur teeth mr. yuck-face!
limegreenpoopie 31
quit eating your own feces skanky byatch :P
GrinReaper 0
You probably want to go to the doctor, some medical conditions result in breath which smells like feces. (Fetor hepaticus)
Seems2BBadLuck 0
ewww. tic tac maybe?
kiraster 3
Gotta at least brush your teeth after you give that special someone a rimjob!
kaylovespink 0
lmao woww!
amuck 0
I feel sorry for you son, YDI for being so lazy that you can't make time to brush your teeth or at least use some mouthwash
AdventurousM 0
Being a mom is hard but you have to make sure to make time to take care of your self as well, I'm guessing your eye brows need waxing and your bikini line has been neglected, you can probably braid your pit hairs and those spider legs need shaving.
thefmlman2011 37
did you take part in "two girls, one cup"?
BVBARMY1238 9
Maybe you got yourself into the human centipede and got yourself out the other day forgetting to brush your teeth!