Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML
Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML
Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML
Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML
Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML
Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML
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Top comments
reapfml 0
brush yo teefs fool
ReyEr9412 0
Bad dental care is also linked to SHUT THE **** UP
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Comments (117)
Leelee93 0
Stop eating shit then :) And Brush, Have a couple tic tacs :)
Alex373 0
Obviously she's been licking some ass
DonkeyDelight 0
Eating faeces probably isn't a good idea.
Six_and_the_Moon 3
Get yourself a tongue scraper, always brush your tongue and around your upper gums and cheeks, floss, induce salivation when nothing else is handy or your mouth is closed for long periods, and stop licking your son's diapers clean.
wordgirl 0
It's a great idea to eat fresh parsley. It cleans your mouth when you eat it and freshens your breath because of the chlorophyll, but when you digest it, it cleans out and deodorizes your stomach and digestive tract. Eat a LOT of fresh parsley for days and days, or go to the health food store and ask for parsley liquid and take that as a supplement.
brunette4life 0
what did you eat poop?
kaybbyx3 0
ever heard of brushing and flossing? :/
jonny2x4 0
YDI for having dragon breath.
terrythaibao 0
did u have a scat sex?
vde_fml 15
actually very few people have a nice breath even if they don't wash their teeth. I dare anyone here, who is making fun of the guy, to take a normal string and move it trough his/hers teeth. You will be scared of your own smell I can guranatee you. @author change your toothpaste and use a medium hard brush that has rubber endings as well. Use floss and check with google if you are cleaning your teeth correctly.