Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after being in the hospital for two weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML
Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML
Today, I was hit by a car while riding my bike, so I called my dad for help. He blamed me for the accident, said he wasn't sure what I wanted him to do, and suggested I call my mom instead. She isn't picking up. FML
Today, my roommate called me, but she's a cunt so I ignored her. A few hours later, I found out her mom and dad were in a serious car accident and she needed a ride to go see them at the hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, I couldn't help but laugh at my girlfriend because she always becomes paranoid when she's around cars. I found her reaction cute and told her that "there's nothing to worry about". A car ran over me two hours later. I'm in a hospital now. FML
Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML
Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML
Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML
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Top comments
cinnamania 3
Oh, wow. She's lovely.
Luckster 0
Bitches like that make me ashamed to be a woman. Time for her to become an Ex. I hope you're well!
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Comments (175)
ReplicasWaifu 0
Did you ask or TELL her to do it? Because the way you may have worded it may have made it sound like you're the king of everything or something. I still think we aren't getting the full story on this one. =/
zee209 0
Did you ask her or TELL her, how did you say it, exactly? Cause if you sounded like you demanded it...then, well, YDI.
kellster 2
Well, sounds like you're a bossy asshole most of the time. Lesson learned?
abradant_spoon 0
well did you say "come pick me up" or "can you please come pick me up" huge difference
mcbeth 0
dude, your girlfriend sucks.
MukyDaCookie 0
The phone call probably went like this OP : "Hey bitch, come pick me up from 7235 MetalFace Road" girl : "Hi honey, I'm on my period. 7235 MetalFace? Isn't that the hospital? What's wrong?" OP : "JUST PICK ME UP BITCH AND BRING A SANDWICH" girl : "You always tell me what to do! Momma was right, I never should have started up with you! That's waht I get for dating a convict!" Or at least, how I would like to imagine it.
DanceRox9008 0
she probably had some pent up frustration and had been thinking about talking to you about it, but wasnt quite sure how to bring it up. not only did you present the perfect opportunity, but you made her angry about it beforehand only to make it more likely that youll break up. good job. oh and when you talk to girls, dont order them to do things, try to explain the situation at least a little bit then maybe she would have offered? it would make you less of an asshole who orders her around coming to pick her up.
FMY_FYL 0
Kill #36. I don't care if you DO control her or whatever, dump her. Anyone who's going to react over a problem like that is ****** up. She could've at least waited till she was driving you home to act like a crazy bitch.
ddrluna 2
I don't care if you're "always bossy" or whatever. Fact is, she didn't need to be such a bitch about it. Dump. Now.
24788 7
You need to find someone new.