Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after being in the hospital for two weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML
Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML
Today, I was hit by a car while riding my bike, so I called my dad for help. He blamed me for the accident, said he wasn't sure what I wanted him to do, and suggested I call my mom instead. She isn't picking up. FML
Today, my roommate called me, but she's a cunt so I ignored her. A few hours later, I found out her mom and dad were in a serious car accident and she needed a ride to go see them at the hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, I couldn't help but laugh at my girlfriend because she always becomes paranoid when she's around cars. I found her reaction cute and told her that "there's nothing to worry about". A car ran over me two hours later. I'm in a hospital now. FML
Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML
Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML
Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML
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Top comments
cinnamania 3
Oh, wow. She's lovely.
Luckster 0
Bitches like that make me ashamed to be a woman. Time for her to become an Ex. I hope you're well!
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Comments (175)
ANDERSON24 0
Not time for a new girlfriend.. Time for her a new boyfriend... Obviously she has put up with enough of your shit.
genius_man16 1
um, it's been said a few times already #84 kthnxbai
fylife123 0
is she blonde? or got sum feed from one of her friends LOL honesly ur life is effedd..
SH34 0
Dude, getting hit by a car and going to hospital.. and she doesnt come to you when youre in need... Time to become independent again, some other girl can take care of you better.
Jimbo2000 0
So, stop telling her what to do all the time
CheezerX 0
man she sux...lets see if u'll help her if she gets hit by a car
LouieG2OO7 0
Dump her man. Yea, find a girl that will consider you in better terms.
youaresofucked 0
I agree with six. shes sounds like shes on her period. but shes still a dick to say THAT to you.
cyxceven 0
It's time for some angry sex.
UnitedArabEmirat 0
YDI