Love: Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital... - FML

By man - 08/05/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 373

You deserved it 10 388

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By noname - 18/02/2013 01:28 - United States - Middletown

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 191

You deserved it 3 050

By Tom - 25/11/2010 13:28

Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 181

You deserved it 2 587

By kicking me while I'm LITERALLY down - 07/11/2017 05:00

Today, I was hit by a car while riding my bike, so I called my dad for help. He blamed me for the accident, said he wasn't sure what I wanted him to do, and suggested I call my mom instead. She isn't picking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 622

You deserved it 289

By Anonymous - 06/11/2015 20:47 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, my roommate called me, but she's a cunt so I ignored her. A few hours later, I found out her mom and dad were in a serious car accident and she needed a ride to go see them at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 003

You deserved it 32 273

STFU

By annoyedguy - 30/06/2009 11:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 457

You deserved it 96 712

By Somethingtoworryabout - 26/10/2018 22:00

Today, I couldn't help but laugh at my girlfriend because she always becomes paranoid when she's around cars. I found her reaction cute and told her that "there's nothing to worry about". A car ran over me two hours later. I'm in a hospital now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 648

You deserved it 836

By wwasmer - 27/02/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 875

You deserved it 16 940

By nolips - 19/11/2009 15:53 - Norway

Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 056

You deserved it 3 163

By michelle91 - 02/12/2009 11:36 - Malaysia

Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 129

You deserved it 4 155

Thanks, guys

By Sophie - 27/12/2011 04:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 131

You deserved it 2 475

Next

Top comments

cinnamania 3

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:52

Oh, wow. She's lovely.

Luckster 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:59

Bitches like that make me ashamed to be a woman. Time for her to become an Ex. I hope you're well!

Comments

cinnamania 3

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:52

Oh, wow. She's lovely.

KiSsKiZzy 0

Monday 31 August 2009 0:27

That is ******* funny!!! Lmao!

michael32123 0

Monday 8 February 2010 6:35

it's cause she's the woman in the relationship. we tell them what to do and hopefully they never leave the kitchen where they are supposed to be

mrstomkaulitz 0

Tuesday 15 June 2010 5:40

stop telling her what to do you selfish bastard!!! jkjkjk lol

toqwert 0

Saturday 3 September 2011 16:32

Bitch alert! Bitch alert! Bitch alert! Initiating dump procedure... No but seriously, give up she's not worth it.

Jezlovespink 5

Thursday 9 February 2012 5:17

Thats y op u dont cry wolf....ddnt u learn that wen u were little??? Get it

Futt_Buck 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:52

what a relationship...

DarkPrince_fml 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 0:29

run her over and drive away and if she moans heelllpppp then you say fk you don't tell me what to do spit on her and drive away

tuxedoandex 28

Monday 22 December 2014 19:01

are you ok

minorixxxx 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:54

Whoa, harsh dude. That's just messed up.

thunder24 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:54

Wow dump that girl! She obviously doesn't care about u to much. Sorry bro

ThotBoutTheGame 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:55

are you sure she heard the part about you being in the hospital?

eastsidehippie 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:56

Wrong time of the month dude.

Just94 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:56

She must have had a reason to say that. DO you always tell her what to do?

ASatanistHobo 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:56

Dump that bitch

Luckster 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:59

Bitches like that make me ashamed to be a woman. Time for her to become an Ex. I hope you're well!

laurieloulou 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 6:48

Maybe he is a bit rude to begin with to cause her to say that.

cp399 14

Wednesday 11 March 2015 4:29

That's like saying that rapists make you ashamed to have sex. I don't see how her being a woman has anything to do with it.

asxp10 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:00

What a bitch. Why do you date her?

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Love Friends Awkward Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Management Poopoo peepee Coworkers Frustration Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, a field engineer decided to rework everyone's schedule, just because he couldn't be bothered to do a full day's work. Now two of us who would've been busy all day are sat on our phones, and he's off out on "errands". How a day goes depends on how bothered he can be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 81

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 885

You deserved it 61 103

The Top

Today, my beautiful bride walked towards me in a dress that looked just like a ribbed condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 555

You deserved it 284

Today, I found out my mom is sleeping with my boss. My dad doesn’t know yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 403

You deserved it 89

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 024

You deserved it 3 670

Today, I found out that when I thought the bullying had finally stopped, the bullies had actually been sponsored to be nice for charity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 254

You deserved it 2 739

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 128

You deserved it 20 731

Today, like any other day I struggled to put my boots on, went to pee and noticed my pants were covered in what looked like a green dust. I touched it, sniffed it, and it smelled utterly horrendous. So I took my boots off again only to find that one of my cats had took a dump in one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 526

You deserved it 3 187