Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after being in the hospital for two weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML
Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML
Today, I was hit by a car while riding my bike, so I called my dad for help. He blamed me for the accident, said he wasn't sure what I wanted him to do, and suggested I call my mom instead. She isn't picking up. FML
Today, my roommate called me, but she's a cunt so I ignored her. A few hours later, I found out her mom and dad were in a serious car accident and she needed a ride to go see them at the hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, I couldn't help but laugh at my girlfriend because she always becomes paranoid when she's around cars. I found her reaction cute and told her that "there's nothing to worry about". A car ran over me two hours later. I'm in a hospital now. FML
Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML
Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML
Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML
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Top comments
cinnamania 3
Oh, wow. She's lovely.
Luckster 0
Bitches like that make me ashamed to be a woman. Time for her to become an Ex. I hope you're well!
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Comments (175)
okaytrees 0
YDI for always telling her what to do
mxrxnda 0
you can't exactly blame this on pms. it doesn't make girls that mean. and even if she is honestly that mean and you aren't just portraying her as a heartless cockatrice, then dump her. problem solved.
Phallus_fml 0
****! That's why I'm gay! Poor you! (hugs)
iSuicide 0
that sucks your life is ****** indeed
zee209 0
Why is it, in every boyfriend/girlfriend FML people tell the OP to dump him/her? Honestly...do people really dump someone for every tiny little thing that happens? Relationships aren't perfect, and either are people. There will be fights, misunderstandings, etc....that's what a relationship is about.
SuperSpore 0
#33: What if she could barely move it hurt so bad? I saw an FML about cramps from it that she could barely move. Wouldn't you be a wee bit po'd?
bbq45 0
I want that person as my new best friend :D
iluvcody 0
YDI for being a controlling douche.
hahayou12345 0
I agree with #7. You need to review your relationship with this girl and work things out, dude.
plzfml4real 0
#38: The car hits you. Thus you get hit by a car. If it's bad enough, they'll take you to the hospital. You can then sue the driver who hit you. If the car was going slow enough and you're sure you're okay, you'll either leave the driver alone or complain to them. If you're extreme, sue them.