Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after being in the hospital for two weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML
Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML
Today, I was hit by a car while riding my bike, so I called my dad for help. He blamed me for the accident, said he wasn't sure what I wanted him to do, and suggested I call my mom instead. She isn't picking up. FML
Today, my roommate called me, but she's a cunt so I ignored her. A few hours later, I found out her mom and dad were in a serious car accident and she needed a ride to go see them at the hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, I couldn't help but laugh at my girlfriend because she always becomes paranoid when she's around cars. I found her reaction cute and told her that "there's nothing to worry about". A car ran over me two hours later. I'm in a hospital now. FML
Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML
Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML
Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML
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Top comments
cinnamania 3
Oh, wow. She's lovely.
Luckster 0
Bitches like that make me ashamed to be a woman. Time for her to become an Ex. I hope you're well!
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Comments (175)
love15_fml 8
Couple possibilities... 1. It's that time of month 2. Maybe you deserved that response? (How do you treat her?) 3. Maybe she's crazy/ mean 4. Some combo of the above
AngelRaven89 0
You must be a real ******** to her if that's how she responds to you. I just can't see anyone responding like that if you "asked" her. Lol and i don't blame that on being "her time of the month", if she really cared about him i don't think that would make a difference. I'm going with YDI for this. As for being hit with a car, that's bad luck.
lalap_fml 0
She must have had a reason to say that! Sorry but I feel like YDI =/
JFox 8
Here's a thought: maybe he DOES tell her what to do a lot, but maybe she should have sat down and told him it bothered her at some point. You know.. instead of flipping out over picking him up from the hospital like a crazy bitch ?
FBIWarning 0
she said it for a reason, take a hint
bortzy93 0
everyone keeps saying "oh what a bitch" and "why are you still with that ho" when the better question is HOW THE **** DO YOU GET HIT BY A CAR!?!?!?! come on people, think
PhishloverA 14
Are you serious? There are so many ways to get hit by a car. How about YOU think a little bit?
were_giraffe 2
i take it this is going to be your x-girlfriend soon? who needs to be saddled with someone who's that self centered what a bitch. you get hit by a car and she only thinks about herself dump the parasite before it's too late
Rhien 0
Wow, 38, really? Cars go faster than people, and if an idiot ran a red light/stop sign, he could have easily been plowed over. Also, It's almost always the driver's fault if someone gets hit.
LiveLoveLife_fml 0
Hope you weren't damaged to badly... Even if ur a COMPLETE ass, she could have at least said it somewhat nicer? Then again it all matters Don't think about marriage JUST yet is my advice.. haha
kspy 0
it sounds like to me all the guys are saying "dump that bitch" while the girls are saying "what do you do to make her say that?" personally, i think that you should talk to her. clearly she has some pent up anger towards you. try working on your relationship.