Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend took me home for the first time. His place was covered in Insane Clown Posse stuff, even the toilet bowl. He's an undercover Juggalo. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML
Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, I admitted my fear of small spaces to my boyfriend. His response was to immediately lock me in the hall closet. FML
Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML
Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML
Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML
Today, I finally went to my boyfriend's house to meet his family. When they were giving me a tour of the house, I noticed a Nazi flag on my boyfriend's bedroom door. FML
Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML
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Top comments
renaee 13
*Shudders* In this case I wouldn't want to know what went on behind closed doors...
ghirahim 5
LOL at op's name ! But that's seriously creepy...
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Comments (71)
Skinwalker131 5
"Order now and get a free grape whistle."
theawkwardlife 21
sounds romantic.
BurumaB 2
How the heck is he already your boyfriend and you'd never even been to his house????? Smh
slking1987 9
That's a truly awesome sign to get away from a clingy significant other.
iloveshim 14
Hopefully, it was a prank... Otherwise hope you had your running shoes OP!
sythe511 28
Depends if he plays video games down there. He could be "raping" the enemy team, which means you are winning!
lemonademixer 7
I'm scared now.... :'(
mrsmaglietta 6
yikes
Raum 19
Trigger warning, I suppose. No personal experience talk, but talk about rape culture itself: Sounds like OP's boyfriend, as well as a lot of people on FML, need to reevaluate their sense of humour. Rape is never funny. Rape fantasies are never okay. Maybe a person has a "rough sex" fantasy, and they mistakenly label it as a rape fantasy. They need to see the difference. If they really DO have rape fantasies, then they are absolutely disturbed. Rape culture is rampant throughout society, and because of that, the crime itself is often laughed off, the severity of it downplayed, the victims doubted or blamed. It's as bad as or worse than murder, because the offender is rarely caught, convicted, and punished, and the victim has to live with the experience for the rest of their lives. Just because you're left walking around on two feet afterwards doesn't mean that you haven't been murdered inside. Before anyone tries to say "stop getting so serious on FML, this is a light-hearted site!" I feel the need to point out that that's exactly why I'm getting serious here. People need to STOP making light of rape. OP, I suggest having a talk with him. Sometimes people just don't know that their "jokes" are offensive and unfunny. If you talk to him about it, and he still doesn't see a problem with it (or worse, he actually does harbour fantasies) then I suggest getting away from him.
presley250 8
He's so polite to warn you! Chivalry lives!