Kids: Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania...

By Anonymous - 25/01/2013 18:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 580

You deserved it 2 586

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Same thing different taste

By blck - 01/01/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 680

You deserved it 3 929

By Anonymous - 01/08/2011 04:28 - United States

Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 159

You deserved it 5 786

By oh dear - 25/10/2009 09:06 - France

Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 322

You deserved it 5 176

By failure as a parent - 11/05/2013 21:19 - United States - Bound Brook

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 425

You deserved it 6 290

By fire - 15/12/2009 00:00 - United States

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 537

You deserved it 6 608

By Anonymous - 28/03/2015 04:39 - United States - Madison

Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 742

You deserved it 2 432

By Anonymous - 02/03/2010 21:16 - United States

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 270

You deserved it 2 682

By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 288

You deserved it 72 534

By SpontaneousAM - 15/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 102

You deserved it 1 190

Constant surveillance

By mister fixit? more like mister fuxit - 25/11/2024 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I made the mistake of taking apart and fixing a malfunctioning toaster in front of my five year-old. Two hours later, he tried to take apart a lamp that was plugged in. He shocked himself, broke the lamp, and set the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 248

Pleonasm 35

Friday 25 January 2013 23:21

Damn those virtual coals, ******* up carpets everywhere.

Rei_Ayanami 18

Friday 25 January 2013 23:21

I hope you have home insurance, and a lot of fire alarms. Add some extinguishers to be safe.

Comments

Rei_Ayanami 18

Friday 25 January 2013 23:21

I hope you have home insurance, and a lot of fire alarms. Add some extinguishers to be safe.

Rei_Ayanami 18

Saturday 26 January 2013 13:59

Well they apparently know enough to put it out, hence the scorched carpet and not burnt down house.

Pleonasm 35

Friday 25 January 2013 23:21

Damn those virtual coals, ******* up carpets everywhere.

ICastillo 24

Saturday 26 January 2013 0:13

OP better get his fireplace fixed ASAP or it could burn his house down.

S182 15

Saturday 26 January 2013 0:20

I am glad he wasn't a hot head about it... I would've been fired up. Hopefully she cools it down in the future.

Sir_ND_Pity 35

Saturday 26 January 2013 2:22

OP better not leave his television on to the fireplace channel during Christmas time. It'll give his daughter "the perfect excuse" to light some more things on fire! "The TV was on fire and it spread!"