Health: Today, I admitted my fear of small spaces to my boyfriend. His... - FML

By Bailyboo - 26/01/2012 23:50 - United States

Today, I admitted my fear of small spaces to my boyfriend. His response was to immediately lock me in the hall closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 097

You deserved it 4 749

Vulture

Triage

Thanks guys

By fmlfmlfml - 11/10/2011 14:22 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend rekindled the romance with his ex, at my 21st birthday party. One of the few reasons I'd invited her was to show that I trusted him, and I no longer felt threatened by their continued friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 737

You deserved it 8 657

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 16:00

Today, I got told that I have a dainty sneeze. It was the closest thing I've had to a compliment I've had in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 136

By hmacy - 01/10/2017 01:30

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message while we were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 507

You deserved it 523

By whoknows?! - 05/02/2010 21:18 - France

Today, I decided to change my boyfriend's background on his phone. As I was in the process of changing it, I noticed his most recent picture is of a naked girl. The naked girl happens to be my 18 year old sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 798

You deserved it 5 002

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 05:13 - United States - Boise

Today, my cat brought home a bloody, barely-living mouse. The thing managed to escape and dragged itself into a crack in the wall, where it must have died. The only way to get it out before it starts to stink up the place is by demolishing the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 770

You deserved it 1 675

By RevolutionLove - 10/12/2010 17:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, at a gynecologist's appointment, I was privileged to have 7 co-ed nursing students stare at my vagina for 25 minutes as part of their training. At one point the doctor apologized for having to "open me up more than usual", but said she wanted everyone to get a good view. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 362

You deserved it 5 349

By belle_arina - 08/10/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 367

You deserved it 8 489

By k - 16/02/2009 17:08 - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looks at me and asks "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 193

You deserved it 11 534

By Anonymous - 08/08/2012 16:00 - United States

Today, I was pitching at a fastpitch softball game. The other team chanted about the ball being too high and almost hitting the batter in the eye. After throwing the next pitch, the ball was savagely returned by the batter, straight into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 332

You deserved it 2 768

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 23:38

Today, instead of spending New Year's Eve having a romantic night out with my fiancé as we'd planned, I'm spending it sitting beside him in the hospital because his friends convinced him to go off-road ghost-riding in the dead of night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 072

You deserved it 4 372

By thismustbewhyivestrivedtobesmart - 15/11/2016 18:25 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while on vacation, my brother asked a native of the area for help. Once he got it, he thanked them with "muchos gracias" in the best Spanish accent he could do. We're in Japan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 659

You deserved it 1 003

By Rae - 04/05/2012 21:09 - United States - Chicago

Today, after weeks of intense studying with the intent of pulling my grades up, I saw that in fact, they've all gone down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 784

You deserved it 3 369

By Jeslyn03 - 13/01/2012 18:57 - Canada

Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 070

You deserved it 3 278

By FallCameEarly - 27/02/2014 06:21 - United States - Alhambra

Today, at my job as a librarian at an old library, I was shelving books. Things were great until one entire bookshelf fell over. The damage wasn't too bad. Then the rest fell down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 063

You deserved it 3 855

By dm206 - 10/06/2009 17:47 - United States

Today, I decided that I was going to get my front license plate put back on my car after two years of having it off. In these two years I somehow never got pulled over for it, as it is illegal to drive without one in MD. On my way there, I got pulled over for not having a front license plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 113

You deserved it 51 756

By ghostyyy - 24/07/2010 23:21 - France

Today, my sister was on television. It would have been great if she weren't being handcuffed for burglary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 895

You deserved it 3 279

By Anonymous - 10/01/2014 23:05 - United States

Today, I realized I willingly support my boyfriend's alcoholism, because the only time he says "I love you" is when he's blind drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 408

You deserved it 17 603

Go deep

By Anonymous - 28/03/2013 20:56 - France - Sainte-savine

Spicy

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 056

You deserved it 16 946

By fingwhore - 27/07/2014 17:12 - United States - Greensboro

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 455

You deserved it 6 925

By gutted - 07/05/2012 02:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 871

You deserved it 2 853

By jobless - 07/02/2010 06:12 - United States

Today, I realized after sending out countless copies of my resume to companies, I failed to add my phone number on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 220

You deserved it 31 661

Deception

By Anonymous - 17/05/2020 02:00

Today, I found out my roommate has been cheating me out of hundreds of dollars when I finally obtained records of the past year's electric bills, which are in her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 184

My body hates me

By Justin - 20/05/2021 22:01

Today, I pulled a muscle by doing absolutely nothing and now I can’t bend over without excruciating pain. I’m 15 and exercise regularly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 91

By nosonofmine - 23/06/2012 17:43 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 454

You deserved it 2 832

By meh - 26/05/2015 05:09 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I asked my landlady if she could fix the air conditioner that's been broken since I moved in. Instead, she came round and took away my bathroom mirror, along with all the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 525

You deserved it 2 236

By lady_jeni - 09/07/2009 07:29 - United States

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 393

You deserved it 3 223

By Anonymous - 09/05/2019 22:00

Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 227

You deserved it 129

By notsohot - 26/10/2009 20:02 - United States

Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 676

You deserved it 4 231

Tricky situation

By Anonymous - 14/05/2020 05:00

Today, my roommate in our barracks posted trans hate-speech on Facebook. My choices are to report him and risk ending his military career, confront him and risk him finding out I'm trans, or do nothing and live in fear of him figuring me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 097

You deserved it 481

By Mel - 27/01/2019 20:00

Today, I found out the guy I was seeing was married, with a kid, when his wife sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 699

You deserved it 294

Tell us more

By kateannobrien - 11/08/2021 20:01

Today, my birthday was terrible yet again. This year, my boyfriend skipped celebrating with me at all. Last year, he guilt-tripped me about ‘having’ to spend time with me and got me two gift certificates that were unusable due to COVID. These weren’t even my worst birthdays to date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 152

Emergency room time

By maya - 09/03/2021 20:01

Today, I was called a "wimp" and a "pussy" for crying and screaming after lightly bumping my hand on a wall. It’s been five hours and it still feels as though my skin is being ripped off the bones in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 323

Mom of the century

By Central - 29/10/2019 12:00

Today, I've not had any contact with my mother for years, and when tornadoes came through our hometown and wiped out most of our downtown area, she didn't contact me at all. I finally contacted her myself. Her reason for not contacting me? She had "watched the news" and "knew I was OK." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 525

You deserved it 193

By Girl With a Cold - 08/02/2012 18:46

Today, I was sick, so I emailed my co-workers with a list of my hours, asking if anyone would be willing to cover them for me. I only got one hour covered, and that was during a day I don't even work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 749

You deserved it 2 673

By Flubber - 07/02/2009 05:44 - Australia

Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 449

You deserved it 5 812

By Anonymous - 21/11/2012 05:00 - United States - Casselberry

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 899

You deserved it 5 070

By bham boy - 20/04/2011 08:10

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 335

You deserved it 33 685

By God the smell - 09/08/2018 22:00

Today, my husband had a bad stomach bug and fever. While I was at work, he had diarrhoea but couldn't make it to the toilet so he went in the bin next to his desk, crawled back into bed, and passed out. It sat there in this heatwave for 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 017

You deserved it 275

By BetterThanChocolate - 20/04/2014 23:24 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 101

You deserved it 5 583

By frenchpop1960 - 23/02/2009 21:58 - United States

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 332

You deserved it 41 770

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Top comments

JocelynKaulitz 28

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Friday 27 January 2012 8:38

This would be the perfect chance to show that closet monster who's boss!

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Friday 27 January 2012 8:46

People don't realize how scary stuff like that can be to a person...

Comments

JocelynKaulitz 28

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Friday 27 January 2012 8:38

This would be the perfect chance to show that closet monster who's boss!

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Friday 27 January 2012 8:57

I don't think it's monster its just the fear of small cramped places...the best solution send her to china...

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Friday 27 January 2012 9:40

No, this would be the perfect chance to find Narnia.

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Friday 27 January 2012 9:53

Well somtimes confronting your fear helps you getting over said fear.

TourettesGuyFTW 25

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Friday 27 January 2012 11:27

Or piss on all the stuff (if it's his of course). Revenge is sweet, and yellow.

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Friday 27 January 2012 12:12

The first thing that comes to mind is Dane Cook's skit about the monster in the closet from his Vicious Circle act.

TourettesGuyFTW 25

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Friday 27 January 2012 12:17

Dane Cook is an unfunny asshole.

TourettesGuyFTW 25

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Friday 27 January 2012 17:00

Dane Cook is an unfunny asshole. So important to know, that I'm telling you all twice.

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Friday 27 January 2012 18:27

Shut up

ImInYourFACEbook 8

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Friday 27 January 2012 23:07

Holy crap! There's a closet monster?!?! I knew it! Now I'm going to have to have a long discussion with my mother. -_-

Blue_Black_fml 21

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Friday 27 January 2012 8:38

Some boyfriend you have...

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Friday 27 January 2012 8:46

He obviously loves u so much he is helping u overcome the fear.

woosah 16

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Friday 27 January 2012 9:00

... No @9... No. That's just her bf being a little bit douchy.

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Friday 27 January 2012 9:25

He might of thought she was joking.. On a lighter side, maybe he was just testing it to see if it was legit!

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Friday 27 January 2012 9:55

Definitely a keeper I'd say :)

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Friday 27 January 2012 11:19

OP just kick ur boyfriend in the nuts. It'll make you feel so much better and ur boyfriend will learn his lesson.

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Friday 27 January 2012 14:52

She lived and im sure they both laughed it off. She's probably not scared anymore

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Friday 27 January 2012 23:23

I think the fear goes away, but a possible eunuch life is unhealthy for long therm relationships

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Sunday 9 August 2015 1:59

YDI I'm sure this wasn't the first clue you got that he is a douche.

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Friday 27 January 2012 8:39

Looks like its you that needs to come out of the closet, not him

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Friday 27 January 2012 8:45

That's so funny I forgot to laugh.

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Friday 27 January 2012 8:52

Why does everyone have to make fun of homosexual people. I mean come on back home if you were homosexual you would get executed.

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Friday 27 January 2012 9:03

You clearly forgot to shut the f*ck up as well.

TourettesGuyFTW 25

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Friday 27 January 2012 11:26

7 = owned 19 = the owner.

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Friday 27 January 2012 8:40

Maybe you should reconsider telling him that you are allergic to peanuts...

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Friday 27 January 2012 15:49

7 minutes in heaven. Giggity

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Friday 27 January 2012 8:41

*r-kelly voice* Op's locked in the closet! So I pull out my gun!!! Please just come out the closet.

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Friday 27 January 2012 9:05

Just a second apart, and we both had the same idea, great minds think alike. ;)

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Friday 27 January 2012 10:37

5- you are a genius :)

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Saturday 28 January 2012 0:52

Get her out of the closet or I'm gonna shoot someone!

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Friday 27 January 2012 8:42

Now you're locked in the closet, why the hell are you in that closet! Thank you r. kelly for helping me with my comment. ;)

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Friday 27 January 2012 8:45

Watch out for the evil monkey!

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Friday 27 January 2012 10:46

Classic just remember if u do come across it call on brian's son lmao

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Friday 27 January 2012 8:46

People don't realize how scary stuff like that can be to a person...

demonwolfmaster 26

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Friday 27 January 2012 9:31

Why a haunt in vegas has a small spce in their haunt i dont get panic attacks easly but it took two big men to drag me to safty (and im not over weight 140 and proud) nut to the op im so sorry if my gf did that to me it would be splits vill since thats not cool

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Friday 27 January 2012 9:39

....What?^

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Friday 27 January 2012 10:58

Just ignore the dumbassian, they'll go back to their own dimension when their visa expires..

RoseTintMyWorld 8

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Friday 27 January 2012 11:06

People still say splitsville?

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Friday 27 January 2012 15:52

I didn't know anyone other than shaggy ever said splitsville

lebronesque73091 12

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Friday 27 January 2012 20:07

Yeah, that's not cool at all.

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Friday 27 January 2012 22:10

I'll be the dumbass to English interpreter here :) Why, a haunt in Vegas has a small space in their haunt. I dont get panic attacks easily, but it took two big men to drag me to safety (and I'm not overweight: 140 and proud). Note to the op: I'm so sorry. If my girlfriend did that to me, I would be angry, since that's not cool.

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Saturday 28 January 2012 0:10

Am I the only one that still doesn't understand the haunt in Vegas part?

ninjuh_wingman 29

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Friday 27 January 2012 8:49

Maybe he just wanted to test it out to see if you were telling the truth.

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Friday 27 January 2012 8:53

How'd he get you in the closet in the first place?

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Friday 27 January 2012 8:59

Picked her up?

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Friday 27 January 2012 15:53

Teenage girls do tend to be small and easy to move.

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28

You deserved it 4

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I was diagnosed with a meat allergy. You can imagine the jokes my boyfriend has been thinking up since we found out I can’t "handle his meat" in my mouth anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 75

Today, a guy drove an hour and a half to get to where I live, only to literally last less than 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 143