Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend took me home for the first time. His place was covered in Insane Clown Posse stuff, even the toilet bowl. He's an undercover Juggalo. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML
Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, I admitted my fear of small spaces to my boyfriend. His response was to immediately lock me in the hall closet. FML
Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML
Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML
Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML
Today, I finally went to my boyfriend's house to meet his family. When they were giving me a tour of the house, I noticed a Nazi flag on my boyfriend's bedroom door. FML
Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML
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Top comments
renaee 13
*Shudders* In this case I wouldn't want to know what went on behind closed doors...
ghirahim 5
LOL at op's name ! But that's seriously creepy...
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Comments (71)
Shmatterhorn 38
He sounds like a keeper.
gc327072 30
Oh god, that video is pure gold. "..Well ya know... grape just sorta sounds like... rape..." "UGH! GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER, SIR!"
perdix 29
**** him willingly and you'll ruin his rape fantasy. Joke's on him! Hahahaha!
TheDrifter 23
Don't forget to give him a safe word before you start on him. Oh, and untie him after, things get awkward if you forget. It does seem awkward that he put a sign up to let his mom know what he wants you to do to him though, be sure to correct that behavior before you leave.
Ponecake 18
FLǕGGȦ∂NKđ€ČHIŒβǾLʃÊN
_Burnett89 9
Obviously wasn't that serious if you're now sitting here posting about it on here
Tempest151 11
You're probably the first girl he ever tricked into going back to his room.
KiddNYC1O 20
What did he say? "Oh, sorry, typo. Rap, it's rap".
DocBastard 38
I'm guessing your new boyfriend is a teenager, because no adult in his right mind would have anything taped to his bedroom door. If that's the case, he probably has a twisted sense of humour and you need not worry. If he IS an adult, you should be prepared to rub the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.
TheDrifter 23
Every time I hear that reference it reminds me of the movie Joe Dirt.
gc327072 30
Oh hey Captain Obvious! It's been a while! I haven't seen you since you got in a bar fight with Sergeant Sarcasm and Private Pun! How's it going?
loganberrybat 11
Might I suggest this is a relationship you make a quick getaway from...
freshprizzle1 13
This is a tell tale sign of everlasting virginity; you have nothing to be afraid of lol.