I agree, she may think her step-mum is awesome and all right now but you can never replicate the love and character and value instilling that your biological mother gives you. She may not think about it now OP but as she's older she'll realise just how much she actually loves you, its just a retarded teenage thing.

I wouldn't say OP lacks a nose as going through her daughter's phone was pretty nosy of her...

I think this is the long awaited conclusion to the FML where the persons contacts were changed to characters from Harry Potter. Where they text draco malfoy for an hour.

Eh...It doesn't necessarily mean that she did something right. I loved my mother and hated my father growing up, I hated (Well still hate to be honest.) because he is an abusive asshole who cheated on my mom repeatedly. While we obviously have no way of knowing that OP is like this we have no way of knowing she isn't either. Hopefully it is just her teenage daughter being a rebellious teenage daughter.

@1 It's a silly thing to think that "my children hate me, I must be a great parent." If that logic is okay, then if you whip your kids with a bull whip, or starve them, and they dislike that and hate you for it... Well, you must just be a good parent. After all they hate you, you must be doing something right. Your children should never hate you, they should respect you, if you do your job as a parent right. Maybe they don't unconditionally love you, and outside factors (school, friends, etc.) may stress that bond (so that sometimes disrespectful children say they hate their parents -- without meaning it), but they will unconditionally respect you if you are a good parent. If they outright hate you chances are it is an issue with you.

Uhm Mom& Voldermort I can see who likes you yeah right

I understand that parents can be concerned about their kids, but why should she be looking through her phone? That's kind of asking to find out things the mom didn't want to know.

YDI for going through your daughter's phone. Paranoid twat.

Parents do that to make sure the child is safe..

I agree especially if the daughter is a young teen. Now if she is an adult that's a different story.

Actually.... as a parent she has every right. "Don't like it? Move out." That's the great thing about being a parent. My roof, my rules.

Agree 100%. Quit looking through her shit. If she IS untrustworthy, then take it away. YDI for being sneaky.

you could be named umbridge. no one likes her.

I think she's the anti Voldemort since she clearly has a massive nose to poke into everyone else's business. Still evil though.

Well it's a partial YDI and FYL. YDI for being Queen Snoopy and FYL because your daughter doesn't seem to be very find of you. Just cast an unforgivable curse on her.

Was that English

If it was.. there is no hope. None whatsoever.

"Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself." Love those books:)

Translation of #9: Well, it's partially YDI and also FYL. You deserve it for being a snoopy mother, And **** Your Life because your daughter doesn't seem very FOND of you. (And in reference to he-who-shall-not-be-named) Just put a curse on her.

28 - I'm pretty sure this entire thread's in English.

Not from the standpoint of her daughter as Harry. He's not scared to say the name.

Indeed. If my parents would do something on my phone without my permission. I probally also want to destroy all their horcruxes and kill them.

Random Rap Time: 'I am the Dark Lord, I am the mighty Voldo, already died once so 'YOLO's not the motto wassup.'

depending on how old the daughter is, it's responsible parenting to know who your child is talking to and what they are up to

YDI, if you think they're old enough to have a phone, they're old enough to have their own privacy. if you dont trust them, why give them a phone? and if you really think they'll send pictures (sexting) dont give them that feature in their plan. i hate parents that go through their children's phones.

#77: That's not actually true, having a cell phone is often for safety reasons with younger kids, for example if your child walks to or from school, it makes sense for them to have a cell phone so you can contact them or vice versa. That doesn't automatically equate to being old enough to keep things from their parents. Also, it says 'going through her contacts' Not her messages or photos, she could easily have been looking for somebody's number.

I got my first phone when I was 14, because I walked home from school. My mom solved the picture problem by getting me a phone without a camera. However, when she needed a contact, she would ask me to put it into her phone. She never once went onto my phone. Her logic was she could very easily request transcripts of texts or the numbers I was calling from the phone company. I don't see why she would need to be on her daughter's phone in the first place. I think this is likely why her daughter calls her step-mother mom. She does not view her daughter as mature enough to give her the number or be honest with her.

It does if you don't get them one of those phones that the parents program the numbers and the child can't touch it, that doesn't have a camera or texting, just emergency numbers. Giving a kid a full-fledged phone insinuates that you trust the kid.

And your obviously not a parent.

You're*.

@ 3 Perfectly said. People tend to see themselves in others. A child who was sneaky and did things behind their parents back tends to see that in their own kids (rightly or wrongly). This is not the sign of a good parent, but instead, a child who never grew up, and probably still continues to be sneaky as an adult. Parents who raise their children right have unconditional respect for them, which includes trusting them enough to have their privacy (on the phone and elsewhere). Good parents trust their children; because they know they have raised a good person. And a good person does not need to be doubted because they act in their private life as upright as they act in their public life.

Well said. I have 2 teens, and even if my daughter does something to warrant her phone being taken away for a bit (usually not doing chores), I have never gone through her phone. I've spoken with both my son and daughter about how once a picture is transmitted it's in cyberspace forever and will come back to bite you in the ass. I would like to think I've done my job well enough as a parent to trust them to a certain extent. And what type of example is that to set? That going through someone else's personal belongings is ok? Sounds like the type of person that would go through a co worker's purse or something. Trashy.

Depends on how old her daughter is...she has the right to go thru her phone

Being a parent does not automatically give the OP the right to snoop through her daughter's phone. My own mother snooped through my stuff and to this day, I do not trust her with ANY of my possessions. I don't even loan her money.

actually, depending on who paid for the phone and currently pays the bill, a parent has every right to go through their child's phone. The phone is the parents, loaned to the child. children do not have the "right to privacy". its a parents responsibility to know what their children are doing and with who until the children are grown completly.

Unless the child has done something that would warrant suspicion, I disagree. Treating your kids like they can never be trusted is a great way to ensure they will want nothing to do with you when they're older. As I just said, I do not trust my own mother because she did not trust me. Naturally, our relationship is lower than dirt.

I am not a parent by any means, but I am 21 raised by single parent when I was growing up they didn't have those type of phones my mother gave me a virgin mobile phone and bought me minutes once a month...NEVER HAS SHE EVER WENT THROUGH MY PHONE THAT WAS NOT CONNECTED TO HER PLAN. NEVER HAS SHE EVER QUESTIONED WHO I WAS TALKING TO mostly cause I didn't associate with bad kids until I was 14...if you give a child(8+) a cell phone you obviously trust your kid enough to let them carry an expensive piece of technology why not trust yourself that you raised a good kid?

I didn't get a phone til I was 16 and I got it taken away usually 6-8 months twice before I turned 18. I would take long distance numebers (online friends, sometimes cute guys I would flirt with). She would see that I was contacting long distance numbers on our phone companies website so she would then ask me who they were. if I said there were someone I met online, she'd tell me I have to delete their number and cease contact with them, "because they're probably a rapist" (paraphrased). I usually lied and said it was a friend who had just moved here. So then she would go through my phone contacts and text messages and pictures. She would reas my texts from this guy (ive known him online for 2 years) and would ground me for talking dirty and sending nudes. Not only that, but she would read the dirty convos out loud so me and pull my nude photos up. I then got picture messaging disabled until my second semester as a freshman in college. Honestly if you think you're child is up to something dangerous, maybe you can snoop. But personally if my mother wasn't so "everyone online is a rapist" and "you're gonna go to hell for sending nudes", I would have been honest with her.

Hello she is a mother she bought that phone for her so if she wants to check it she can whenever and wherever so that is so sad and i feel for you

If she wants no trust between her and her daughter, then I guess you're right.

Unless its a teenager or tween, then they have every right too...

No, they don't.

Exactly. She totally deserved it in my eyes. Don't snoop through shit unless you're prepared for the worst.

....And its called "privacy" and "responsibly". You need to trust your child. If you don't then it will strain your relationship.

She probably did it because she knew her mom was going to be looking through her phone.

This is a great comment, as a parent I would use ur approach. Y so many negatives??

One of the worst? He's the fucken Dark lord, killed numerous innocent people including Harry's parents. He's definitely THE WORST character lol

I think that person was also considering all the evil doers who were in league with You-Know-Who lol

Probably something to do with invading her daughter's privacy.

He's back! He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back!

hahaha "nosy"

Well so long as the child is under 18 and/or under the parents roof. They have the right to make sure their child isn't doing something inappropriate. If you want privacy, then reach the age of 18 and move out.

If you don't give them a little privacy, they can grow up resenting you and doing everything you say not to do. Just to spite you.

#41 All the 12 year olds using their moms phone disliked this.

#44 isn't that normal though? either the parents are worthless and do nothing in the form of discipline or the kids hate them. its part of being a teen

As a parent they have that right though. They pay for the phone, they can look at it. Plus if she is under 18 it should be looked at everyonce in a while. Otherwise, she can do stuff that might hurt her that her parents could've stopped.

I disagree. I think if your child has not yet actually done anything to earn your mistrust then you shouldn't treat them like you think they are sneaking around behind your back. How does a child trust you if you always treat them like they are a criminal?

When my mother needed my phone she would ask and tell me what she needed it for. She would ask for a contact, to use it to make a call, or to borrow it if her phone was dead. She did not go through my texts or make sneaky mom texts to find out if I was "being rowdy." I never called my mother nasty names in my phones because I knew she loved me enough to let me do what I needed to do. She trusted me. You cannot have a good relationship with your child if they do not feel you trust or appreciate them. Respect it key. Op does not seem to trust her daughter.

68 - I feel bad for your future children, as you seem to have no idea how teenagers work. My parents respect my privacy, they didn't do this kind of crap, and I did not grow up hating them. You don't go through your parents phones to make sure they aren't having affairs, do you? Privacy. Plain and simple.

#85 how do you know the mother in this case wasn't looking through her daughter's contacts BECAUSE she had reasonable grounds to suspect her daughter was doing something wrong? A lot of judgemental comments here, for all we know OP may have had good reason to go through her contacts, or (as more than one commenter has suggested) she may have simply been looking for a number and had no privacy-invading intent at all, considering she's merely looking at the contacts, not the message history. What's with all the judgmentalness, everyone??

Because Op does not need to go through the phone for contacts. You ask for the contact from your child.

#114 are you seriously unable to imagine a circumstance where OP isn't somehow automatically 'in the wrong' for searching for a needed contact number herself on her daughter's phone without asking her? I can recall more than one occasion where my mum was in a rush and needed to know a number I had on my phone and I was for whatever reason not in a convenient place to read it out for her myself e.g. being in the shower or even not at home at all (yes, I'm one of those forgetful people who leaves home without her phone half the time). I have only ever expressed annoyance when my mum actually purposely infringes on my privacy (Which she HAS done, but using my phone without my explicit permission to find a number does not and should not fall under that category).

#114 in fact I can imagine the simplest and quite plausible reason (the most common reason my mum has ever used my phone's contact list for) OP would be looking through her daughter's phone is in fact because OP has LOST her phone somewhere around the house and is trying to ring it to find it. If OP is one of those parents (like my own) who can remember only the first few digits of their mobile phone number, grabbing her daughter's phone to try and find and call her number is a perfectly valid and innocent reason, and especially if the daughter isn't around to ask permission first and if OP was in a hurry to get her phone and call someone or go somewhere. Trust has to go both ways, you know.

Everyone has the right to privacy no matter what. And if that was the case, I doubt going through her phone would help anything at all.

How likely is it that mom already, just happens, to have memorized the names AND phone numbers of everyone her daughter talks to on a daily basis? The only way she would be able to ensure that the girl didn't have a dealers number in her phone would be if she had the same dealer. That would pretty much be the only logical way that mom would know just from names who on the contacts list was dealing drugs and what their phone number was. That's not really information people volunteer so going through the phone would help nothing.

She was looking through her daughter's contacts, invading her privacy, so I'd say yes. She is a bitch.