Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
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Top comments
stupidpplsuck 33
That's probably because you go through your daughters phone. No sympathy from me Voldy.
neeni88 23
Could it simply be because you lack a nose and not due to your "evil" ways as a Mom? If it's any consolation, if your kids hate you, you must be doing something right!
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Comments (209)
ChuckNorris2 4
Mess with all her contacts.
DaLiquer 20
All these people saying kids need privacy are most likely underage themselves and have no clue as to what it actually takes to raise children much less prevent them from teenage pregnancy or drug abuse, or worse!
Shade1982 21
Ehm, no. Disrespecting your kids privacy is completely different from what you are saying. You should be perfectly capable of raising a kid without having to resort to stuff like this. If you have reached the point where you have to go through her phone, you have been doing something wrong the entire time...
m_champion24 4
will if your husband is your (ex) and is remarried and your name in your daughters contacts is Voldemort....she must have a good reasoning for putting that name on you in her phone... just my thoughts on the whole thing!
DBallin 10
YDI for going through her phone.
iwadasn 33
That's really not the issue here.
klade99 4
what a daughter :P
LaDresdenMonkey 11
You deserve it for being a snoop! But hey at least she's creative and spot on (:
LaDresdenMonkey 11
You deserve it for being a snoop! But hey at least she's creative and spot on (:
roro_superloser 13
Haha u have a creative kid there! Like the way he thinks
rokolodo 10
If you did not expect to find your (mom)name under Valdermoort (whatever) then obviously you don't know your daughter or what she's upto!
Beva_fml 15
Well, why did you look through her contacts to begin with?