Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
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Top comments
stupidpplsuck 33
That's probably because you go through your daughters phone. No sympathy from me Voldy.
neeni88 23
Could it simply be because you lack a nose and not due to your "evil" ways as a Mom? If it's any consolation, if your kids hate you, you must be doing something right!
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Comments (209)
fordneagles 34
Leave her damn phone alone and she might have more respect for you, invading her privacy certainly isn't going to win you any favors!
Sopho_o 15
Voldemort's cool
thebeautybleeds 17
Hell yeah. Voldemort's my favourite. I'd give that name to someone awesome.
Too_tired 4
That's kinda funny seeing how I named my mom as Professor Dumbledore. But seriously don't go poking around in your daughter's things; she will find out and her opinion of you will drop drastically.
Rhian00 17
Why were you going through your daughters stuff? That invading her privacy!
deepunder 17
The name was wishful thinking. If u were Voldemort, u wouldn't be so nosy
Rhian00 17
My point still stands that she shouldn't be looking through her daughters things.
Vinnie500 14
Lol. Sucks to be you.
ycrem0n 21
I suggest using the Cruciatus Curse, my lord.
hotshot0185 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If she's paying for the phone, she has the right to do so, kids have too much privacy
CharresBarkrey 16
Thank you, 19! Finally. These FML voters are weird. I swear, on every other FML where the kid's parents invade their privacy, the commenters absolutely jump down the OP's throat saying it's the parents' right to do so because they pay for everything.
deinemudda 5
why would it be the parents right to invade their kids privacy only because they pay for it? money=no privacy???
XxXCrissyXxX 12
Exactly. I mean giving too much privacy to kids, and lack of discipline, leave too many doors open for trouble. Despite teens thinking they know what's best, they don't, and parents need to know what's going on with their kids, who they know, where they are going, and who they are with.
Senseless_487 29
There needs to be a certain amount of trust between parents and their children. If OP's kid did nothing to violate that trust, then I see no need to invade her privacy.
Jemm_fml 29
But where has OP said that her daughter was a child? we're all assuming that's the case but it may not be.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
That would be a case of the guy doing something to earn the mistrust though. You shouldn't act like people are criminals before they have done anything wrong. That is a good way to screw a kid up.
j_729 18
Sometimes it is good for parents to check phones, but sometimes it makes things worse. A few months ago one of my best friends cut. Her bf (someone I have been best friends with since kindergarten) was texting her when his mom took his phone and went through it. She had stopped cutting completely for about a month, but when his mom found out she called our school, and she got called up to the office and it made things a lot worse and her parents found out and so did a lot of kids at school. She ended up starting again for almost a month before she stopped again. If his mom did not call the school, she probably wouldn't have started cutting again
queerdragon 20
There are proper ways to go about looking through your child's phone and/or computer. I think Op could solve a lot of problems if she asked to see the phone. My mother always asked and we have a great relationship. Asking at least gives the illusion of mature, adult interaction.
melody309 35
I agree with 19 to a point. My boyfriend's mother constantly snoops through her kids' phones, Facebook messages, etc. You name it, she looks at it. Most of the time, there is no reason for her to do it, other than she pays for it, and she just feels like it. As a result, her kids don't really trust her, and they have found ways to hide all the stuff they don't want her to see. And I'm not trying to sound like some whiny kid - my boyfriend and I are legal adults, he's moved out, and she still tries to look through his stuff (and, indirectly, mine, since he and I obviously talk quite often). So, basically what I'm saying is if there is reasonable suspicion that your kid is doing something wrong, go ahead, do your job as a parent and look through their stuff just to be sure. But if you're just throwing your weight around, "I pay for it so I can look at it whenever I damn well please," get the **** off your high horse, or you'll lose your kid.
xgetxbentx 13
Honestly, it doesn't matter whether or not you have "the right" to go through your kids phone. I understand why parents think that way, but when my mom pulled that shit on me (it only happened once thanks to good communication), I wasn't mad because I thought she didn't have the right. I was mad because she had so little trust for me and didn't even try to talk to me. Stop pulling rank on your kids and TALK TO THEM. If they felt like they could talk to you about anything without worrying about you grounding them on the spot, you wouldn't have a reason to snoop through their stuff. I'm not saying don't ever ground them, but talk issues out with them before slapping on a punishment. Open lines of communication solve a LOT of issues.
Brad31_fml 21
There's obviously a reason... you snooping through her phone seems to be a good one. YDI.
Jemm_fml 29
Well, only He who shall not be named would go through his daughter's phone contacts so I guess she's right.
perdix 31
It could be worse -- you could be Neville Longbottom. A harsh commentary on your ass.
thesinginguy 18
At least Neville was a bad ass in the last book and movies. So that would be a half compliment. Unless you specified that it was young Neville.
perdix 31
#35, I was saying that the kid was saying her mom had a long bottom. I'm not sure what that means, but it doesn't sound nice.