Kids: Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider...

By Spooderman - 04/02/2016 02:04 - United States

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 825

You deserved it 2 485

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Same thing different taste

By spiderfail - 03/07/2012 08:03 - United States - Erie

Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 517

You deserved it 2 532

By Anonymous - 29/06/2019 01:00

Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 694

You deserved it 420

By Sally256 - 03/05/2009 15:53 - United States

Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 656

You deserved it 27 019

By Anonymous - 02/01/2010 07:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to be hospitalized to drain poison from a bad spider bite. His mom is convinced that he got it from my house and won't let him come over anymore. I suppose she's right, because guess who found a spider web under their bed today, along with 5 new spider bites? FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 040

You deserved it 4 693

By SpiderFather - 02/07/2013 08:01 - France

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 058

You deserved it 5 875

Boys will be boys

By optimistic2628 - 19/10/2011 14:03 - United States

Today, my 5 year-old twin boys decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 046

You deserved it 7 062

Beware!

By Anonymous - 24/11/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 119

You deserved it 3 832

My little boy

By Anonymous - 16/04/2021 00:30

Today, my 12 year-old son came home with two broken arms after finding an awesome place to ride his bike. He found a sweet jump and his handlebars broke. He's currently in slings and waiting for an appointment with a surgeon, the breaks were so bad, the hospital couldn't reset them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 104

By Marjorie - 13/07/2012 17:08 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 234

You deserved it 3 444

Sussy Baka

By boymom - 04/08/2021 15:59

Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 162

mellyski 25

Thursday 4 February 2016 11:17

There's no future in superheroes these days, he should aim to be a web designer.

anonymuse_fml 31

Thursday 4 February 2016 11:14

I think he missed the part about it needing to be radioactive.

Comments

anonymuse_fml 31

Thursday 4 February 2016 11:14

I think he missed the part about it needing to be radioactive.

Draugen 16

Thursday 4 February 2016 14:32

That reminds me of the fml where a kid microwaved a spider to make it radioactive...

middlenamefrank 8

Thursday 4 February 2016 16:44

Oh yeah, that's exactly what that kid needs to hear. Be sure it's a RADIOACTIVE spider.

wanted_2_want 40

Thursday 4 February 2016 18:19

Plot twist: OP's son is 18.

vb68_fml 28

Friday 5 February 2016 1:24

Hopefully...

paravoz 30

Friday 5 February 2016 8:30

Was it red and blue?

mellyski 25

Thursday 4 February 2016 11:17

There's no future in superheroes these days, he should aim to be a web designer.

lexred 30

Thursday 4 February 2016 11:33

What about Tony Stark?

TheNewGuy03 28

Thursday 4 February 2016 12:41

That he was definitely doing. That was the joke, right? If so, carry on.

blazingshot147 19

Thursday 4 February 2016 14:13

As for the white sticky substance, we'll let puberty fix that.

ohSNAPyall 26

Thursday 4 February 2016 16:38

They call me... The Webmaster!

ImmortalYu 11

Thursday 4 February 2016 16:44

what about batman

Saikon1357 25

Thursday 4 February 2016 17:57

Ha! Better money is in actual programming since everybody can fancy themselves a 'web designer' with the saturation of WYSIWYG services these days. Get in at the beginning by being the person who makes the program that people use to make a website.