Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
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Top comments
stupidpplsuck 33
That's probably because you go through your daughters phone. No sympathy from me Voldy.
neeni88 23
Could it simply be because you lack a nose and not due to your "evil" ways as a Mom? If it's any consolation, if your kids hate you, you must be doing something right!
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Comments (209)
Jurbla 14
If you're so casual about going through your daughter's phone, it's not much of a stretch to imagine you've done worse invasions of privacy or even disregard her wants, needs or rights in other ways as well. It's a tough call without more information, but I'm going with YDI
Neopopulas 9
I love how casual it is "oh, as i was invading my daughters privacy, i felt insulted by what she named me. Oh woe.."
Xatraris 38
Voldemort isn't that bad of a guy. Be happy you weren't named Professor Umbridge.
lizzybusy8292 4
why were u going through your daughter's phone. no wonder she gave u that name!
rokolodo 10
What's up with all negatives. First you're the parent, if your looking thru ur daughters phone u have your reasons. You are responsible for her. You make it your business to keep tabs on your kids. You mam are doing the right thing. Am I the only wise ONE here.
smilingxbleeding 9
You are an idiot. Seriously, if Ur kid has done nothing wrong, don't snoop. Plus, we don't know if this is an adult child or not
xTrepidation 14
I think you're being a little harsh 161. Everyone has different parenting styles, just because someone prefers something other than you doesn't mean they're an idiot. Although I don't agree with snooping, its ultimately the parents choice how to raise their kid. I've known people with crazy strict parents that turned out alright and same for the opposite.
qpsarah 10
Why are you going through your daughter's contacts?
tashlz4ever 3
If she pays for the phone and the child is under 18 she has every right to go through it children have way to much privacy these days
TheyCallMeDamien 18
You might want to work on that relationship.
Squit_fml 16
you got a YDI from me as soon as I finished reading "I was going through my daughter's contacts"
Taskmaster_fml 13
Ha! You totally deserve this. Don't go through other people's stuff with out permission then be offended at what you see.