Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML
Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML
Today, I felt like surprising my coworkers by bringing donuts. Feeling generous, I got a dozen from the most reputable bakery in town. On my way to the office, I tripped, and the box flew open, scattering donuts everywhere. A group of pigeons swooped in and devoured them before I could recover. I spent $30 on pigeon breakfast. FML
Today, during the few free minutes I had while rushing between meetings, I grabbed a plain slice of pizza to go. I stepped outside, ready to eat and walk, when a friendly pigeon flew overhead and added a "free topping" to my slice. FML
Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML
Today, as I was walking home with dinner, a pigeon pooped on my leg like a dive bomb. My hands were full carrying the food, so I had to walk the rest of the way with a smear on my jeans that everyone knew what it was. FML
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Top comments
papertigers_fml 0
a truck? on the street? what are the chances?! it's not your fault, you couldn't possibly have known.
ijaywalk 0
Best FML ever. Now hunt down the survivors! YDI for awesomeness, coz your life totally doesn't suck.
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Comments (363)
nypd613 0
PETA would be all over your ass about this. wouldn't it be great if the leaders of PETA died the same way those birds did? asshole bunch of people
unable_heart 0
What? Run after a fry and get hit by a truck?
kubagami 0
LOL that is f'n HILARIOUS and really messed up! lol
Waffles41687 0
Im sure the truck driver would have to use this as a FML. It could go, "Today, someone threw a fry in the street and a bunch of birds chased after it. End result is that I now have to clean pigeon guts out of my grill. FML" lol XD
305alive 0
you are clearly a ****** ****. Aja grossest thing in the universe
ObadiahtheSlim 2
You are a credit to the team. Now if you could kill some more that would be great.
3arl 0
doesn't make sense u said u threw it to a couple pigeons which is two an then u say four survived wth?!?!
Juggababy33 0
He said that there was a flock of pigeons around the fry; when he threw the fry a flock came..
damnrosi 0
you're such a jerk! Yeah, thats smart, lets just kill the poor birds, you may not like them, but hell, I'll bet there's a lot of people that don't like you! Do they kill you just because you're annoying?? No. And how do you know that they all died at once? some could have just been severly injured and died painfully and slowly (and don't give me any of this crap about animals don't feel pain, they do.) And point 2: you could have caused an accident! If someone had come along and swerved when they saw the flock of pidgeons in the road, there could have been a serious accident. Which means (for those of you that have no respect for an animals life) a persons life could have been destroyed because of the OP's idiocy. Not eff your life OP, eff ours for having to share the world with bastards like you.
Theos_fml 0
Note the wording-this was accidental, don't try to pretend you're a better person by throwing insults at every accident.
damnrosi 0
Note- it is not accidental when you throw something into a road (unless you are so incredibly stupid that you don't realize that vehicles drive there), crossing the road and accidently dropping one is one thing, purposely throwing one into the road is different.
Holybatman 16
It was accidental. The OP threw a french fry away from himself, and it happened to land on the street. Natural selection did the rest, because the birds would have had plenty of time to get away from the truck, considering it wasn't on the highway. It is an FML, because the OP felt bad for the deaths of the pigeons, but also an F Our L for having to share the world with people like #78.
Ranoona 0
LOL at # 72 xD
Rldiamond90 0
Well, if you the pigeons were bothering you, congrats, you win!!!!
quivx 7
That story made me happy. **** no one's life.