Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML
Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML
Today, I felt like surprising my coworkers by bringing donuts. Feeling generous, I got a dozen from the most reputable bakery in town. On my way to the office, I tripped, and the box flew open, scattering donuts everywhere. A group of pigeons swooped in and devoured them before I could recover. I spent $30 on pigeon breakfast. FML
Today, during the few free minutes I had while rushing between meetings, I grabbed a plain slice of pizza to go. I stepped outside, ready to eat and walk, when a friendly pigeon flew overhead and added a "free topping" to my slice. FML
Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML
Today, as I was walking home with dinner, a pigeon pooped on my leg like a dive bomb. My hands were full carrying the food, so I had to walk the rest of the way with a smear on my jeans that everyone knew what it was. FML
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Top comments
papertigers_fml 0
a truck? on the street? what are the chances?! it's not your fault, you couldn't possibly have known.
ijaywalk 0
Best FML ever. Now hunt down the survivors! YDI for awesomeness, coz your life totally doesn't suck.
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Comments (363)
dan11 0
i hate it when people say that its not an FML! obviously the moderator thought it was so just SHUT THE **** UP!!!!
Montville1 0
whoaa dan chill out brahh
shadowsx1101 0
Wow, that is AMAZING. OP if I were you, I would repeat the process to kill the remaining 4. @ the wanna be PETA people: give it a rest, this is FMyLife.com NOT a PETA meeting for discussing the ways a fry kills pigeons, and how all pigeon murderers should die and go to hell. Next time, think about the people who don't really much care for PETA beliefs thank you.
vanaathiel 13
How is this a FML? It's more like **** the pigeon's (short) lives. Lol thats so funny
Scorpious 0
I think you may be a servant sent down from Natural Selection. If that is the case, good job, you just helped out the pigeon species.
F00tball_Playa 0
YOU SHOULD GO 2 HELL!!!!!!!! Pussy
oh_dee 0
i hate pigeons anyway
Sorrel 0
Who cares, pigeons are like rats with wings.
Luzilla 0
MU-MU-MU-MULTIKILL!!!
TheAlphabetMasta 0
I love you.
morgan020 0
well at least huntin season is right around the corner a truck seems to be more efficient than a 12 gauge :)
amstillives 0
YDI for buying food at mcdonalds!!! BiTCH...
amstillives 0
BiTCH shut the **** up.. You probably work at some broke ass mcdonalds with some dirtyass people and even in charge of making the dustyass fries. Your probably fat and obese. BiTCH...
piles_of_fail 0
stop saying bitch every few words....it makes you look like a wannabe gangster halfwit....
g00dzy 0
you are soo hardcore!