Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML
Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML
Today, I felt like surprising my coworkers by bringing donuts. Feeling generous, I got a dozen from the most reputable bakery in town. On my way to the office, I tripped, and the box flew open, scattering donuts everywhere. A group of pigeons swooped in and devoured them before I could recover. I spent $30 on pigeon breakfast. FML
Today, during the few free minutes I had while rushing between meetings, I grabbed a plain slice of pizza to go. I stepped outside, ready to eat and walk, when a friendly pigeon flew overhead and added a "free topping" to my slice. FML
Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML
Today, as I was walking home with dinner, a pigeon pooped on my leg like a dive bomb. My hands were full carrying the food, so I had to walk the rest of the way with a smear on my jeans that everyone knew what it was. FML
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Top comments
papertigers_fml 0
a truck? on the street? what are the chances?! it's not your fault, you couldn't possibly have known.
ijaywalk 0
Best FML ever. Now hunt down the survivors! YDI for awesomeness, coz your life totally doesn't suck.
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Comments (363)
missbrunettgirl 0
how is this an fml?
Juggababy33 0
i don't think he meant to kill them on purpose, that's why it's an FML. He probably just threw it where ever & then he felt really bad about it.
epicwinmaster 0
@ ayashe. First, learn to spell. How do you "through food into the streets"? Second, you must be a wanna be PETA member, hmm? And I hate people who go and try to put the blame on us for the stupidest things, like making pigeons diseased? Get a life. Or at least a hobby if getting a life is too hard. And finally, I would like to ask everyone to join the group PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals). Thank you.
iFruit 0
PIGEON KILLER
medusachic666 0
Awwwwww!!! Sadness. :( I hope you've learned your lesson about luring poor stupid birds into the street after food. Just throw it behind you on the sidewalk. They're so cute and fluffy, they don't deserve to die. :'(
van2010 0
That's AWESOME!!!! Could u try that with crows, please? I give u the flying rat killer award of the day :)!!!!!! Congrats!
Egotistical 0
Did a bird fly up and hit the drivers window blocking his view and causing a collision???
LatinoHeat 0
YDI for listening to Clay Aiken while you threw that french fry.
thelonelylurker 0
Wow massacre?
sodahhhr 0
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