Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, after I bought a giant bag of birdseed yesterday because birds kept visiting my balcony, I woke up to dozens of pigeons waiting outside my door like I'd accidentally started a subscription service. FML
Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, a pigeon flew into my apartment through an open window. I tried for 20 minutes to guide it back outside. It eventually left on its own, then immediately flew back in through the window again. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
Today, as I was leaving Walmart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
Today, I felt like surprising my coworkers by bringing donuts. Feeling generous, I got a dozen from the most reputable bakery in town. On my way to the office, I tripped, and the box flew open, scattering donuts everywhere. A group of pigeons swooped in and devoured them before I could recover. I spent $30 on pigeon breakfast. FML
Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when a pigeon flew into my head and got caught in my hair. To make matters worse, a group of kids thought it was hilarious and started filming me with their phones while I screamed in terror. FML
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Top comments
D J's MOM 17
this is either bullshit or you're a moron. I get birdseed all the time for outdoors and there is no way I could mistake the two....
Brightside86 31
I feel like this could be a commercial for that birdseed.
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Comments (3)
Brightside86 31
I feel like this could be a commercial for that birdseed.
D J's MOM 17
this is either bullshit or you're a moron. I get birdseed all the time for outdoors and there is no way I could mistake the two....
Nikki 17
Well clearly moron, if you’re making something up you’d make it more believable
Alan Staff 59
I let this one through because it seemed very specific and weird; the usual made-up stuff I turn down is not as inventive, and sometimes life is stranger than fiction. I also let it through because I've watched enough YouTube videos of hungry birds attacking people with food, especially during the pandemic lockdowns, to know that this sort of thing does happen.
kk. 14
How? Birdseed and chips feel very different even in a bag... huge weight difference.