Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML
Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML
Today, I felt like surprising my coworkers by bringing donuts. Feeling generous, I got a dozen from the most reputable bakery in town. On my way to the office, I tripped, and the box flew open, scattering donuts everywhere. A group of pigeons swooped in and devoured them before I could recover. I spent $30 on pigeon breakfast. FML
Today, during the few free minutes I had while rushing between meetings, I grabbed a plain slice of pizza to go. I stepped outside, ready to eat and walk, when a friendly pigeon flew overhead and added a "free topping" to my slice. FML
Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML
Today, as I was walking home with dinner, a pigeon pooped on my leg like a dive bomb. My hands were full carrying the food, so I had to walk the rest of the way with a smear on my jeans that everyone knew what it was. FML
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Top comments
papertigers_fml 0
a truck? on the street? what are the chances?! it's not your fault, you couldn't possibly have known.
ijaywalk 0
Best FML ever. Now hunt down the survivors! YDI for awesomeness, coz your life totally doesn't suck.
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Comments (363)
DresdenB17 0
not really sure why people post stories like this. this is sortnof everyday shit that happens to everyone. it's not an fml it's a hatt (happens all the time). i'm tired of all these boring stories that aren't fml quality
alewiina 0
Dude, if its an FML to the poster, its an FML. I would personally feel pretty damn guilty if I accidentally killed a bunch of birds that I was just trying to feed. You want morbidity and tragedy, go somewhere else. This place is supposed to be EVERYDAY life stories. Chill.
Munkee 6
HAHAHA, what the hell's FML quality? Since when did you decide what situations F people's lives? It's not like you're paying to read these damn things, so just enjoy the ones that are 'FML quality' and don't waste your time bitching about the ones that aren't. But IMO, this is 'FML quality'. I don't know what kind of place you live, where trucks driving over flocks of pigeons happens to everyone on a daily basis.
Jefferson207 3
score!
alien_bow 0
Teamwork FTW.
xxviii28 0
this is to #30... STFU
LordOfTheHobos 0
lol PETA retards can't hit the "reply" button, it kills muskrats.
Munkee 6
That's probably because #30 is already a reply on top of a whole string of replies, if he had clicked the reply button it would have gone under the whole list and he's have to write 'to #30' anyways, smartass.
LukeDog 0
how mny were there to start? 4?
panicpanic 0
HAHAHHAHAA it is neither FYL nor YDI. it is ******* awesome.
sentient 10
YDI for feeling bad about a bunch of pests with wings getting run over by a truck
type1 3
I like this! thumbs up for you..
Ridyn 0
They are ******* birds who cares?!
joemama13 0
i wish there was a species even higher up the food chain than humans who threw quarters in the street and watch their vehicles plow into the crowd of unsuspecting humans chasing after some change...that would be SO goddam funny. no, wait, actually, that wouldn't be funny...and neither is this.
TomFantastic 0
Yes it is shut up
Lolbrittany 0
No one runs into oncoming traffic in the middle of a street for a quarter, except hobos and if they DO get hit they deserve it for being homeless. :U
wookiewookieMAn 0
birds risk their lives by diving into streets to continue on living. a large portion of humans risk their lives, and those around them, by smoking so they can feel cool/relaxed. Who is the bigger idiot?
Sprinter136 2
Why does someone deserve to be homeless? Just because they're homeless doesn't mean they're a lazy asshole that won't work. Yes, that's the case sometimes, and they DO deserve it. But sometimes elderly people, mentally ill people or veterans are put out of nursing homes/institutions due to them closing down or some other issue beyond their control. And they can't work to get a new home because they're too old, weak, or just unable. And nobody will help them because society is a bunch of assholes. As I have clearly seen on this post.