Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML
Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML
Today, I felt like surprising my coworkers by bringing donuts. Feeling generous, I got a dozen from the most reputable bakery in town. On my way to the office, I tripped, and the box flew open, scattering donuts everywhere. A group of pigeons swooped in and devoured them before I could recover. I spent $30 on pigeon breakfast. FML
Today, during the few free minutes I had while rushing between meetings, I grabbed a plain slice of pizza to go. I stepped outside, ready to eat and walk, when a friendly pigeon flew overhead and added a "free topping" to my slice. FML
Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML
Today, as I was walking home with dinner, a pigeon pooped on my leg like a dive bomb. My hands were full carrying the food, so I had to walk the rest of the way with a smear on my jeans that everyone knew what it was. FML
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Top comments
papertigers_fml 0
a truck? on the street? what are the chances?! it's not your fault, you couldn't possibly have known.
ijaywalk 0
Best FML ever. Now hunt down the survivors! YDI for awesomeness, coz your life totally doesn't suck.
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Comments (363)
Brooklynxman 0
And thus I bestow on you the name "Pigeon Slayer" Wear the title well
coffeegal 0
C'mon, this is a WIN
alexzhou04 0
Good job dude! ******* birds deserve it. U should be sad that some of them survived.
Theos_fml 0
Actually, not all animals do understand. They are much like people in that matter and beliefs are based on experiences. Some things believe in an afterlife, like many animals that live in colonies. They believe that their actions may get them a better place. Some pigeons may not really think about death or the end of their lives until they see another pigeon they've knwon for a long time get horribly mangled by people-that may put it into shock for a while. It will then fly away and be a little jumpy for a week. And by the way, animals will spread the news of their experiences, and they believe each other more often when it involves humans because humans are everywhere and always in the way.
snavula 0
Lmao! Animals believe in the afterlife? Sorry, even I don't think animals are that stupid.
maddog_fml 0
@#114 WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! "They believe that their actions may get them a better place. Some pigeons may not really think about death or the end of their lives until they see another pigeon they've knwon for a long time get horribly mangled by people-that may put it into shock for a while" Yeah right!! Ooooh man! Your story is much better than the OP's. You talk to birds, right? Just like people who like to talk to trees.
ibaneziceman 0
That's what those greedy, little, mooching pigeons deserve!
Im_cursed 0
im glad you did that and infact i might try it myself.. i hate pegeons!!! they are gross rats with wings.. so GREAT JOB on that!!.. you should have done it again to the last 4..
maddog_fml 0
Good Timing dude! Don't border, they where only some stupid ******* pigeons. *Damn, I hate pigeons!*
fmlfyl 1
ftw
paramite12 0
This is the most awesome FML ever. I would have laughed so hard if I saw that.
YN_OM 0
Sounds like a "pigeon version" of those Final Destination movies lol.