Health: Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag... - FML

By markzar - 05/05/2012 07:19 - United States - Amherst

Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag myself to the kitchen for some Gatorade, I got stung by a wasp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 752

You deserved it 2 324

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 05:16 - United States

Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 128

You deserved it 7 550

By Sickofbeingsick - 01/10/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, after a week of staying in at night and fighting off a persistent cold, I was finally feeling well again, so I decided to go to my boyfriend's work BBQ. I got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 868

You deserved it 2 850

By ekoblick - 17/06/2011 04:34 - United States

Today, I got food poisoning from my wedding food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 360

You deserved it 3 923

By life_sucks - 16/01/2010 18:46 - New Zealand

Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 027

You deserved it 7 526

By Sting - 26/04/2016 20:49 - United States - Manassas

Today, there was a gigantic wasp in my room. It stupidly flew upwards and got hit by the rotating fan. It then immediately decided to take it's revenge by stinging me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 464

You deserved it 1 024

Those pesky little *****

By Anonymous - 28/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was stung by a red wasp. While my husband heroically killed it, I, the person terrified of wasps after being swarmed as a child, collapsed, sobbed, screamed, and almost vomited from sheer terror. Give me snakes, spiders, insects galore and I am fine. Single flying asshole of doom and I turn into a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 165

Sleep well?

By Karen - 29/08/2022 16:00

Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 74

By Anonymous - 28/05/2010 23:51 - United States

Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 883

You deserved it 4 783

By Username - 25/05/2010 12:32 - France

Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 103

You deserved it 36 208

Speed 3

By ihatewasps - 30/08/2023 20:00

Today, I was stuck on a bus for an hour with a wasp buzzing around. I have a severe phobia of wasps. I was crying by time I reached my destination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 206

Next

Top comments

linyah 11

Saturday 5 May 2012 16:14

gatorade helps replenish the electorlytes one has loss. Plus after food poisoning you dehydrate fast. It helps =) what i would like to know is why you are stealing from a wasp?

Il_Maestro 6

Saturday 5 May 2012 19:49

Ooh! My turn! No one sings as well as Justin Bieber.

Comments

GemmaStyles 14

Saturday 5 May 2012 16:09

Excuse me if I sound ignorant, but what does Gatorade have to do with the fact that you got food poisoning?

linyah 11

Saturday 5 May 2012 16:14

gatorade helps replenish the electorlytes one has loss. Plus after food poisoning you dehydrate fast. It helps =) what i would like to know is why you are stealing from a wasp?

gracehi 31

Saturday 5 May 2012 18:01

I had food poisoning once, but the kind that makes you vomit not shit. The doctor told me to stop drinking water and to drink Gatorade or flat soda to settle my stomach. He told me any water I took in would just be regurgitated. Well, I drank some Gatorade and then I stopped puking. :)

kayla_ann0o 9

Saturday 5 May 2012 16:13

Well at least you're not allergic and you're still alive.

galt 13

Saturday 5 May 2012 16:15

Get better!

The_Hitdude 12

Saturday 5 May 2012 16:22

Murphy's law at it's finest....or worst.

Gothicbunnyx3 16

Saturday 5 May 2012 16:25

I was not expecting that I thought You were gonna say you shit everywhere. anyway... sorry op about the wasp sting

snnoell_18 1

Saturday 5 May 2012 16:27

"...and when i finally got back to the couch to rest, i saw a spider on the ceiling."

lollipop77_fml 6

Saturday 5 May 2012 16:41

......so I threw a bottle at it, the bottle rebounded and .....

snnoell_18 1

Saturday 5 May 2012 16:53

reference to an fml... ON ANOTHER FML

meihua 19

Saturday 5 May 2012 21:29

Inception! Or FMLCEPTION!

keven501 12

Saturday 5 May 2012 16:28

Your fine

squirrel1215 5

Saturday 5 May 2012 16:34

You're* And no.

Pandacupcakelove 26

Saturday 5 May 2012 18:34

9- Did we just read the same FML..?

lollipop77_fml 6

Saturday 5 May 2012 16:46

Damn wasp should buy its own Gatorade! Hope you're better soon op!

Jakesterk96 8

Saturday 5 May 2012 16:46

That wasp unfortunate.

Jakesterk96 8

Saturday 5 May 2012 16:48

Lol, I see what you did there potatoes.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I spent an entire hour talking to someone at a party. I was feeling a real connection, only to find out halfway through the conversation that she wasn’t actually a guest, she was the caterer who just happened to be really nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 192

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 660

You deserved it 3 777

The Top

Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 861

You deserved it 7 935

Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 952

You deserved it 5 323

Today, my boss, a treacherous weasel, threw me under the bus for a £300 mistake I made on my first day a year ago as an intern, trying to distract from his £12,000 fuck up from today. He got suspended, but my wages are temporarily reduced until the money from my mistake is paid back, all £300 of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 134

Today, I was thinking about how I saw Eric from That '70s Show at an airport and never said anything to him. I still regret it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 704

Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 542

You deserved it 5 203

Today, while out with my boyfriend, I gave a beggar some cash, who then smiled at me and said to my boyfriend, "You have a beautiful little lady, take good care of her." Flattered, I hoped my boyfriend would agree with the compliment. He turned and said, "Hear that? He said you were little." FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 39