Today, I was driving through the mountains and there was a chain requirement. I went to put them on and found a note where my chains used to be saying, "Have fun in a blizzard now, bitch" from my ex. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, one of my tires blew out on the highway. I managed to slow down and pull over without dying, and went to get my spare tire. I found it right where it was supposed to be, knifed to hell and with a taunting note from my psycho ex taped to it. We broke up nearly 3 years ago. FML
Today, my car got a flat tire. I jacked up my car, removed the flat, and went to get my spare out of the trunk. Where my spare is supposed to be, I found a note. It said, "You're a bitch - John". John is my ex-boyfriend. He borrowed my car the day we broke up, apparently he stole my spare tire too. FML
Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML
Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML
Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML
Today, I went for a drive to clear my head of relationship issues. That night, I got pulled over. Lost the car and my license. I texted my girlfriend, saying I was sorry; she left. Lost her too. FML
Today, I biked to the store to buy a new lock, since biking is my only form of transportation. I left my bike unattended for the last time, only to come back with a new chain, but no bike. FML
Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML
Today, I went to my car to discover a note on the windshield from the city telling me that they had hit my car. On top of that note was a parking ticket, also from the city. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
beaglegal 42
Glad he's your ex. What a dick! FYL indeed.
junkman6 22
I almost never say damage someone else's vehicle...... But in this case a few dead fish in the trunk of his/her car is the best revenge.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (119)
KinkyCurly 13
That's Messed up, but funny as hell!
dachayke 16
First one, yes. Latter, no way.
atsignat 18
Putting life at risk does not worth for a vengeance. Your ex is just plain ignorant and mean
TheDrifter 23
Op's life's not really at risk, driving without chains when they are required is illegal, so basically the crime is petty theft and an inconvenience on op's time as they won't be able to legally travel that route until conditions improve or new chains are acquired.
ThomasBombadil 31
If you bring it up to them in anger they will know they succeeded in their bullshit. Do the Jedi thing and relax and let it go. Lashing out will only encourage more of the same.
dfair1987 16
Going the Jedi route gets you and your order wiped out . You should go the sith route and get revenge preferably in a way using force lightning lol
JMichael 25
Well don't he sound bitter..
_kawaii_ 10
I can see why you dumped him
PurelyCanadian 18
He sounds lovely. Note the sarcasm.
SillyGiraffe 17
That's snow way to handle a break-up!
RougeKiller 9
What OPs ex did was bad, but i bet OP had to do something pretty bad for him to do that.
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
Yeah, blame the victim. Great idea!
koolkool994 28
Yeah, it's not like we already have enough victim-blaming in our society!
Lil_Red777 21
So if a burglar robs your house, then I guess you did something to deserve that right?
Traitoro 9
Sadly if someone breaks into your house and hurts themselves on the glass they broke or say your dog bites them, our "system"allows them to sue you AND win...
threer 30
One man tried to rob a lady in her apartment and fell out of the window, breaking his arm. He sued and he won. True story.
worldclassrager 39
Ex for a reason? But seriously that's just cruel...hope you got through it all or could get a cheep pair that will be a good replacement for this trip...
trellz17 19
So he took something from you that could save you from potentially perilous weather conditions? That's not cool at all, seriously