By unloved cat owner - 16/02/2014 00:50 - United States - Carmichael

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 594
You deserved it 9 441

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That was the plan all along. You're just the cat's slave.

I wouldn't share my fort with anyone either.

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That was the plan all along. You're just the cat's slave.

The cat manipulated you OP

"No Humans Allowed!"

Its just like ancient Egypt all over again!

My cat was one of those "I love you, but don't molly coddle me." He loved being around us, liked being stroked but if you tried to hug him or hold him close, he'd wriggle free and give you a look of disstain.

*disdain Most cats are evil. If I leave a drink anywhere near my cat and leave the room for a second, I'll come back to see her dipping her paws in it. Every time. She's trying to poison me...it's not safe.

I'll take having the cat dipping it's paws in the drink. Mine knocks anything with liquid to the ground. Ruined my laptop 5 years ago

While I was reading these comments, my evil cat approached me for the first time today and tried to act all cute and distract me. I think they know we know. They're up to something.

Damn. That's aggressive.

Have you never had a cat?

To be honest, not all cats are aggressive. A lot of times it depends on the breed and even the upbringing. Some cats can live their whole lives as sweet as ever and others turn on you no matter what you try to do to make them happy (or because you overstimulated them). But I love them all the same, speaking as someone who is owned by five of them.

It's called a joke, genius.

It's really just defensive. The best defense is a good offense, and Sir Kittysmith Flufford isn't surrendering to OP's siege that easily!

27, I just moved out in September, and got a kitten, ended up giving it away about 4 days later. She loved to cuddle and all that but I had work and the girlfriend school so we gave her to someone with a more free schedule. Would having a schedule being 10am-6pm matter to own a cat?

#60- To own a kitten, yes it would matter because kittens need time spent with them and a lot of playtime. To a fully-grown cat those hours wouldn't be too bad because they sleep most of the time anyway.

@27 Sounds like the difference between our two cats. Our female tabby-calico, Ghana doesn't like to be held and seems to get mad at just about any form of affection; she does this weird growl/meow when she gets angry. Our male black Bombay-mix, Butler is affectionate and attention-needy but also very playful and mischievous; he doesn't really meow either, it's more like an adorable cry.

#73 My oldest cat at 17 is a confusing mix of your two. She loves to be petted and held, but within minutes bites and scratches you. Then she gets mad we have to put her down, wanting more petting which made her mad in the first place. Another loves affection and his brother runs from it. Cats are a silly bunch.

It must've been a little confusing to a kitten, but she's in a lot better place then she first was, I got rid of most of the fleas and let the new owner know what to do and get. I'm gunna wait until summer when the girlfriend is always home to get another one :p by the end of the summer that car should be okay, right?

@86 That's one confusing cat, you just can't make her happy can you?

I wouldn't share my fort with anyone either.

Kinda like me when I was little and I made cushion forts. And I clawed my parents when they intruded... Wait, you did that too right?

Actually I threw blocks at anyone who got too close.

Hell, I pulled out an AK-47. No one messed with my cushions.

A little privacy please!

Thats what "meow" means.Me owns you:)

That's a bit of a stretch...

I guess you're more into birds #7

You didn't say the password, or bring the catnip

Incase OP didn't know i think the password was "Human slave, cat master"

The password was swordfish. Failing that, tuna.

Knock it down then. Ungrateful bastard.

I'm confused here. Are you saying that the cat is an ungrateful bastard?

How are you confused? Who else would it be?

That's exactly why I'm confused, Mr. Smart. I didn't realise cats could be ungrateful bastards.

Of course they are ungrateful bastards, they take it for granted that you cater to their every whim, and they are all born out of wedlock. Being an ungrateful bastards is pretty much standard procedure for cats. I still think they are awesome.

#36 I think I love you.

Eeerrrrrrrmmmm, I'm flattered, but not available..........

I was messing around. God, people on this site are such pessimists, with their little thumbs.

You probably surprised her, and that was her natural instinct.

Cats have incredible hearing. Unless it was sleeping I doubt OP was scratched because the cat was surprised.

XxXBadAshXxX 27

Obviously it's no humans allowed.