Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank a little too much vodka. Towards the end of the party, I found myself making out with a tree in front of all my co-workers. FML
Today, I turned 21 and had a huge party because I could finally drink legally. Got arrested for public intoxication. FML
Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML
Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML
Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked six houses down and went to the party for 20 minutes. After coming out after three beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML
Today, I hung out with a friend who doesn’t have any kids. We went to the park, where my three year-old son decided to drop his drawers and shit next to a tree. FML
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML
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Top comments
skullfuckery 0
Are you 13 or something? Drinking in a park, really?
powersmoke 0
YDI. Drink at home.
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Comments (125)
Eff_igy 0
I'm going with YLS rather than YDI because of the bogus sex charge. Get a good lawyer, friend. You're going to need one.
KillaKingPerrie 4
This is why I always wear a diaper when I go out,
KillaKingPerrie 4
You might get off easy some chick killed 2 kids in a shooting and only get put in prison for 25 yrs so you'll probably get fined like 100 dollars.
FmyF_inglife 0
http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=19204
LilaBear 2
YDI for being that drunk that early in the day and peeing in public.
Lisasimpsonfan 0
YDI for showing a bunch of little kids your penis. Hope you like being a sex offender.
gigi2009 0
HAHAHAHA msut have been a good night :)
YerMamm 0
Man, I hate getting caught for drinking in the park (N)
UnrequitedLover 0
Fake. No park drunk is going to have any computer or type like this.
paks7 0
its a park you dumb shit kids are allowed to run around and they don't expect to find people peeing wherever they want