Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank a little too much vodka. Towards the end of the party, I found myself making out with a tree in front of all my co-workers. FML
Today, I turned 21 and had a huge party because I could finally drink legally. Got arrested for public intoxication. FML
Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML
Busted!
Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML
Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked six houses down and went to the party for 20 minutes. After coming out after three beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML
Childfree confirmation ceremony
Today, I hung out with a friend who doesn’t have any kids. We went to the park, where my three year-old son decided to drop his drawers and shit next to a tree. FML
Extreme disorderly conduct
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML
Geyser
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML
Top comments
skullfuckery 0
Are you 13 or something? Drinking in a park, really?
powersmoke 0
YDI. Drink at home.
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Comments (125)
Hollisss 0
YDI pedo
emodude44 0
******* MORON
lizard321 0
oh I didn't realize that you can go on the internet when you are arrested=
Nyolia 11
YDI creep.
bbygirl89 0
you deserve the drinking in public ticket, however, unless your 'exposing yourself to a minor' ticket gets dropped, you will get registered as a sex offender (which in my opinion is ridiculous because there was no sexual intention behind the act). Get a good lawyer, or you'll have that hanging over your head for the rest of your life.
monkji10 0
lol that last charge will haunt you for the rest of your life
ThisRandomChild 0
Ur an accidental pervert >.
jbigjohn7414 0
Thts sounds like its off the movie Horrible bosses
reapper66 1
Just a little more common sense. But shouldn't be branded as a sex offender. People seem to forget that there human. And we make mistakes. "stupid mistakes" I'm a defense lawyer. I try and help people that were wrongfully charged.
axeinthehead14 3
Haha atleast it wasn't a sandbox at night like in Horrible Bosses