Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank a little too much vodka. Towards the end of the party, I found myself making out with a tree in front of all my co-workers. FML
Today, I turned 21 and had a huge party because I could finally drink legally. Got arrested for public intoxication. FML
Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML
Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML
Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked six houses down and went to the party for 20 minutes. After coming out after three beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML
Today, I hung out with a friend who doesn’t have any kids. We went to the park, where my three year-old son decided to drop his drawers and shit next to a tree. FML
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
skullfuckery 0
Are you 13 or something? Drinking in a park, really?
powersmoke 0
YDI. Drink at home.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (125)
signupsheetfail 0
You do live in Texas... I'm pretty sure they'll let you go easy and tell the kid to pull his tampon out and man up. It is the wild wild west after all.
zack767 0
no is no way this is a FML this is a complete YFDI
mrose57 0
Too bad we can only vote YDI once for each FML. YDI x 1,000, you asshole!
Piquan 0
Get a lawyer. You don't want an exposure conviction; that's a sex offense and can really screw with you for the rest of your life.
sthprkfnt 0
wow this reminds me of the one about the drunk driver who got pulled over with a suspended license and weed in the car brainstorming before leaving the house every morning might be in your best interest.
CaptainBlake 0
Idiot. Pissing on a tree in a public park in the middle of the day in front of a bunch of 4 year-olds. Idiot.
relaxnoghosts 0
well the poor childs probably traumatised for life ..idiot
signupsheetfail 0
Yepp, that's exactly what he's going to do. "Hey guys, I need to piss" "Okay, but check for four year olds having a birthday party first. They're everywhere these days." "Good call, there's some over there" Not saying he didn't deserve it, just, who says that?
babygraprefruit 0
YDI. That's what you get for drinking in public in the middle of the day, and being too lazy to find a bathroom. Drunk bastard.
ben26_fml 0
i did something illegal and got caught FML. were you drunk when you posted this too, moron. YDIx2