Health, Embarrassing and Party: Worst party ever - FML

Worst party ever

By Dumbass - 10/01/2019 12:00

Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 4 002

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Top comments

AstroTurfMatador 11

Thursday 10 January 2019 12:30

"in a room alone with someone" Were you alone or with someone? It can't be both.

Amy78_fml 11

Thursday 10 January 2019 12:15

I see some behavior that would be a turn off.

Comments

Virids 13

Thursday 10 January 2019 12:04

Well, can't win them all. Better luck next time...

ajh1800 25

Thursday 10 January 2019 12:04

Stories like this are a large part of why I don't drink. YDI

Amy78_fml 11

Thursday 10 January 2019 12:15

I see some behavior that would be a turn off.

Gofuckyourself 24

Friday 11 January 2019 8:19

Preach!

AstroTurfMatador 11

Thursday 10 January 2019 12:30

"in a room alone with someone" Were you alone or with someone? It can't be both.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 10 January 2019 16:08

It means there were exactly two people in the room, and at that number, everyone knows with 100% certainty who farted. There’s no plausible deniability.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Thursday 10 January 2019 12:55

Nice to see that the Hannah Montana persona lived on after Miley Cyrus walked away from the show, but the "protagonist needs to be drunk to be funny" cliché sounds like something Tom Green came up with.

DaDezza244 31

Thursday 10 January 2019 13:02

Were you drunk when you wrote this FML?

Sinshine 28

Thursday 10 January 2019 14:14

If you're expecting sympathy, you're not going to get it here. But I can see why your crush isn't making out with you.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 10 January 2019 16:10

I’ll bet the new girl holds her liquor far better than you.

tharnden 1

Thursday 10 January 2019 17:14

I was reading this as though OP was a dude. But then realized OP is a chick and was like, "CLASSY!!!"

julfunky 29

Thursday 10 January 2019 21:57

So are you suggesting this would be ok if OP was a guy?

Gofuckyourself 24

Friday 11 January 2019 8:22

OP never identified their gender so you shouldn't be assuming either or. I'm just saying, not looking to get into the whole gender debate.

acmariner99 25

Thursday 10 January 2019 17:50

Got too drunk (the rest is history). Did we learn something?

Keywords

Sex Allergies Love Relatable Housework Weird Flowers Cheating Work Kids Parents Awkward Sleep Exhausted Death Break-ups Customers AITA Bodyshaming Clothes Money Doctor Health Education Vegan Intimacy Annoying Cops ACAB Ironic

The Top

Aujourd'hui, j’ai pris mon après-midi et la camionnette du travail pour récupérer mes meubles commandés. Mon mec, qui ne travaillait pas et qui devait me rejoindre sur le parking, est arrivé avec deux heures de retard. Il finissait sa partie de PS4. Il m’a engueulée car il ne comprenait pas que j’en avais marre de l’attendre. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 4 132

You deserved it 883

Aujourd'hui, au restaurant, je vais aux toilettes. Je fais mon affaire et me lave les mains. En sortant, j'aperçois un lavabo derrière la porte. Un vrai. Je comprends avec terreur que je me suis lavée les mains dans un urinoir design et que le savon était un déo pour chiottes. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 53 922

You deserved it 9 350

The Top

Today, I texted my husband saying, “No sex tonight, it’s a bloodbath” and realized it was in a group chat with his parents, not directly to him like I'd intended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 381

You deserved it 2 007

Today, I worked 24 hours straight fixing my company's servers. After it was over, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and promptly fell asleep at my desk. My boss found me an hour later, refused to listen to me, and fired me for sleeping on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 588

You deserved it 4 665

Today, at my cousin's baby shower, there was a discussion on what to name the baby. When the name Jacqueline was brought up, I made a face and exclaimed, "Ugh, I hate that name!" I was then informed that's the name of my cousin's mother-in-law. She definitely heard me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 629

You deserved it 27 588

Today, my brother arrived at the cabin we’re staying at on a trip. He insisted he got the bed I chose. My father responded, "You wouldn’t want the bed if you knew what he did in it last night." I laughed until I realized there's a mirror where he could've easily seen "what I did last night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 2 012

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 977

You deserved it 4 464

Today, I went out with my ex-girlfriend, with whom I have a good friendship with and am in fact still in love. I picked her up at her house and we had a perfect night together that ended with sex in my car. As I dropped her off, she turned to me and said, "I hope you know we're just friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 839

You deserved it 1 624