Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank a little too much vodka. Towards the end of the party, I found myself making out with a tree in front of all my co-workers. FML
Today, I turned 21 and had a huge party because I could finally drink legally. Got arrested for public intoxication. FML
Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML
Busted!
Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML
Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked six houses down and went to the party for 20 minutes. After coming out after three beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML
Childfree confirmation ceremony
Today, I hung out with a friend who doesn’t have any kids. We went to the park, where my three year-old son decided to drop his drawers and shit next to a tree. FML
Extreme disorderly conduct
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML
Geyser
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML
Top comments
skullfuckery 0
Are you 13 or something? Drinking in a park, really?
powersmoke 0
YDI. Drink at home.
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Comments (125)
tristangage 0
To all those people shouting at the OP for drinking in the park, calm down, seriously. It's no big deal, as long as you are responsible with what you are drinking. It's not 'YDI for drinking in the park', it's 'YDI for being irresponsible with alcohol'.
brianjman14 23
**** u guys, he was at a drinking party, everyone goes to a drinking party he deserved it because he didn't know that there's another party going on somewhere. it just happened to be a 4 year old's party.
lem0n_fml 0
Where the **** are you getting your information from? NO WHERE does it say he is at a party himself. But, OP, drinking enough at a park to be drunk? Are you 14?
brianjman14 23
oops, sorry i thought it said party, instead of park. damn it i'm stupid lol
doggie3 0
Total YDI man. It's your fault.
Sevventh 0
Welcome to Megan's Law
RedBaron 0
wow all you motherfuckers need to get off your high horses. yeah he deserves the public intoxication but exposing himself to a minor?! the dude was taken a piss, big deal. let a guy get drunk in the afternoon
noName123456 0
i agree he completly desreves public intoxication but he is being labeled as a sex offender (complete scum in my mind) becasue he took a piss that sucks hes whole life is ****** now becasue he was drunk and took a piss in public.
BadOwner 0
could be worse. if you were drunk in public in the olden days, you wouldve been whipped repeatedly... O.o
lets_be_ian 5
Man, a lot of you guys need to lighten up. One little story about drinking in the middle of the day and you can guarantee he is an alcoholic, and you call him a pedophile? I have been drunk by noon a few times (it's called college for any of you who are not familiar with the term). I have also urinated on more trees then the average family dog. Of course they guy is a dip shit for not noticing his surroundings (be it a kids b-day party, a cop football game in the park, whatever). But come the **** on... pedophile? For peeing? At a distance of 100 yards? If most of you think this, as a single indecent, is so dramatic that you label this guy alcoholic and pedophile then I am f'ing a glad I do not live your boring ass lives. People do crazy things at times in their lives... doesn't make the losers... of course it doesn't not make them losers all the same.
palmtrees 1
I don't think I've actually read any comments by people saying they think he IS a pedophile, just that he may likely now be labelled one by the law if this charge sticks, and that sucks. And having been through college myself recently (so yes... I am "familiar" with the term), I've been drunk once or twice in my life in the middle of the day. However, I wasn't stupid enough to do it in a big public place with a lot of sober people I didn't know around, or to pee out in the open. Those last two are why the OP really deserves it... if you're going to be an idiot, there will probably be consequences of some nature.
beaniebabe 0
ydi for the drunkness but fml for the peeing part
beaniebabe 0
skullfuckery what 13 year olds have you been hanging out with??
jackkerouc9 0
What kind of douche bag drinks in a park in the middle of the day and get so drunk that he pisses infront of little kids and THEN gets caught. Ever heard of run away? I want that guy on the registry so I never live near him ever.