Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank a little too much vodka. Towards the end of the party, I found myself making out with a tree in front of all my co-workers. FML
Today, I turned 21 and had a huge party because I could finally drink legally. Got arrested for public intoxication. FML
Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML
Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML
Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked six houses down and went to the party for 20 minutes. After coming out after three beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML
Today, I hung out with a friend who doesn’t have any kids. We went to the park, where my three year-old son decided to drop his drawers and shit next to a tree. FML
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML
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Top comments
skullfuckery 0
Are you 13 or something? Drinking in a park, really?
powersmoke 0
YDI. Drink at home.
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Comments (125)
manmoosewaffel 0
Ha this is funny and that sucks for you, but what are you doing drunk at the park durin the day? and how do you not notice a party goin on that close? You Texans are just born with mild retardation i guess, explains GWB :) Texas is so religious right and conservative it makes me wanna hurl and im a catholic. YDI bud, welcome to the list and have fun wit megans law. i feel bad for you cuz you meant no harm but you seem really dumb
HowIMetYourUncle 0
Everyone should stop thinking Texas is filled with rednecks that ride horses for a living, get drunk on a daily basis, and talk in country accents... I'm an Indian living in Houston and I simply can't pull that off -.- so QUIT IT PLEASE :( Epic fail btw :)
Kanyeezy 0
why the **** were you drinking in a park in the middle of the day
Fentown_fml 4
Completely your fault on every level. Grow up.
Chris21122 0
Retard
romancelover 0
Dude you deserve it, your such a MORON. First of all you should'nt be getting drunk in public. Second you shouldnt be peeing in public. DUMBASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
stuffy25 0
who drinks at a park?
curzy 6
sucks do you have to tell your neighbors that your a sex offender now? lol
shitakii 0
YDI for drinking alcohol. -_-
weezieh8 0
And now you have to register as a sex offender, ydi cause you prolly did it intentionaly knowing that there was a 4 year olds birthday party. LAME-ASS SEXO!