Today, I was crocheting while watching television, and thinking to myself how proud I was that I taught myself to crochet. Then, an episode of Golden Girls came on, and I watched that while I crocheted. I'm 24. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
Today, I took a pottery class to try out a new hobby. After an hour of work, I had somehow created something that looked vaguely like a bowl. The teacher walked by and asked what I was making. When I proudly said, "A bowl," she paused and replied, "Oh." FML
Today, I watched four episodes of Frasier at my mom’s house and now my algorithm is all Frasier facts and memes. FML
Today, I was folding the laundry. At one point, I had to take a moment to figure out whether a pair of underwear was mine or my mothers. I'm 18. She is 56. Enough said. FML
Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML
Today, I was laughing at a story of a girl who had dropped her cellphone in a hottub and ruined it. As I was feeling pretty good about myself, I then realized that my cellphone was in the pocket of a sweater that I had just thrown in the washer 20 minutes prior. FML
Today, I tried to be productive and got dressed in real clothes instead of sweatpants. I spent the next four hours on the couch binge-watching Netflix and pretending I had plans. FML
Today, I found my old sewing machine I got when I was a kid. I never used it before, because when I was younger, I was afraid I might sew my fingers. Laughing at myself, I decided to sew up an old bag. I sewed my thumb. FML
Today, my 53 year-old art teacher told me she's excited about going clubbing this weekend. I'm excited about watching a special on the History Channel. FML
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Top comments
amatthew_03 0
I'm 24, too, and this sounds like a pretty good time to me, actually.
spiceonice 0
uh, golden girls rocks. fyi
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Comments (220)
greenman_fml 0
I read crocheting as masturbating. That made it so much better. You fools had to ruin it for me by defining it. I guess I've never seen that word written before. In my head i pronounced it crotch - eting Oh well, I'm still going to believe he was gettin his stroke on to old ladies.
Vagrarian 2
Meh...at least you know how to do something with your hands. You can be a couch potato and have something to show for it, which is more than most people can say. You're life isn't ******...you have every reason to be proud.
basebal1bert 0
this story was so bad it compelled me to create an account on fml just to tell you how bad your story sucked
pinstripe_fml 0
Golden Girls has some of the best dialogue in TV! This isn't really much of an FML.
Rintin21 0
Don't worry, I taught myself how to knit. and I love Golden Girls. and I'm 20.
XxGivesMEhellxX 0
I'm 16 and I knit scarves and sew tote bags [:
BigLord 0
#4 is correct, we need a third option no doubt. Seriously, what?
allieg 0
Um.... so what? I'm 19 and the other night I watched a documentary with a grandparents while I was knitting a sock. Big ******* deal.
hottiegurl 0
I watch that too! I'm younger than you, LOL!
ddrluna 2
And we would give a shit about this... why?