By Cellphonetroubles - 19/11/2009 07:36 - Canada
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as i was laughing at your story, my cellphone fell into my chicken noodle soup. fml. :(
I was on the phone with a friend laughing at your story when the phone slipped and I dropped it. Trying to be cool I tried to kick it back up high enough to grab it, instead the force of my kick broke it. My friend then emailed me calling me an asshole for hanging up on him. When I told him what happened he insisted I stole it from some FML about an iPod and now we are not speaking.
Today, I was at a petting zoo when a cute iPod came up to like my hand, but instead shat all over my face, so my car decided to kick me up into the air to try and act cool but instead it broke me into a million little pieces and got arrested for public intoxication.
#56, I definitely saw that intoxicated car on an airplane today, and I asked him if he would play a game of ping pong with me. He said no, but he agreed to go binge drinking with me. He seems to have become quite the alcoholic after that arrest. Anyway, the car and I tried to go to the bar, but he was underage and had hair, so we went to a purple flea market instead. There, we met a giant smelly disembodied eyeball who told us that we should get pedicures. The car did not appreciate this, and decided that he would throw a cirrus cloud at the disembodied eyeball's foot. In retaliation, the eyeball vomited a tree into the car's shopping bag. Two days later, the car, the eyeball, and myself all woke up in Thailand in a drunken stupor. Unfortunately for us, two sexual whales had stolen our supply of chocolate cake and electric guitars, and were smoking them a few miles out to sea. Suddenly, two guacamole-covered pigs came and sniffed our bellybuttons. We were very confused, so we asked them why they were eating pickles covered with mustard. It must have been very sour. They rudely ignored our question, and instead began ruthlessly punching us in our stomachs. Red, yellow, blue, green, purple, and orange spiders imploded at the point of collision. Instead of fighting back, we decided to read the pigs' diaries and sneeze heavily at their drawings of a spaghetti-covered Africa, a horse eating with a spork, and irritating flamingos with high libidos gargling alarm clocks. Then, I fainted again from lack of somersaulting and cartwheeling. That's all I remember of that night.
What goes around sometimes comes around, huh? The real question is whether or not you can laugh about it yourself. There's nothing you can do about it now (more likely than not anyway), so you might as well.