Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
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Top comments
englishmuffin 0
wow horrible luck though i don't know if i'd kick things just out of instinct
tikimuppet 11
I would probably have done a similar thing
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Comments (299)
eddiesuniverse 5
damn if the kid was like 8 or older I could laugh ... (harder) at this, but 4 that is more horrible than funny
xf0rg0tt3nx 0
WIN! But I'll be damned, that's mean. xD Still got a giggle out of it.
FoundManyLemons 0
He deserved it. That'll learn him.
cocky 0
167: if you're in a private place and see a ******* head pop out of nowhere underneath you, you'd probably kick too. I would have kicked.. even if I knew it was a kid. it'll teach the ******* mom to control her litle bastard.
Pixelle_fml 0
Ouch!! Poor kid! Well you couldn't tell anyway... I would have done the same.
Zeepbot 0
Kid so deserved it! Shouldnt have been "looking under stalls for his mum". He should have done the sensible, thing and call out to his mum. Or not be left alone at all!
Sipos 0
If someone's peeking under your dressing room that seems pretty justified. It's the 4-year-old's mum's fault for leaving him alone to act in a completely socially unacceptable way. If your kid is too young to behave then it should be supervised. If it's young enough not to know how to behave, then it is also young enough to be abducted. If you can't look after it for everyone else's sake, then do it for it's own.
muffintastic 0
Don't feel bad, that little ****** deserved it. And his mom, too. If she doesn't know how to keep her kids with her she doesn't need to take him out shopping with her. It's not that hard, even if he did run off, he shouldn't have done it in the first place. She should teach her kid to go to the counter or security any time he can't find his parents or is lost. Dumbfucks.
DrMorbid 0
Well, the kid learned it's lesson. And painful lesson is the best lesson and it is remembered forever.
kitkatkelly 0
Don't kick people in their faces! It is common sense!