Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
englishmuffin 0
wow horrible luck though i don't know if i'd kick things just out of instinct
tikimuppet 11
I would probably have done a similar thing
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (299)
kezzstar 0
Luckily the worst the kid got was a swift kick in the head. It would have been awful if he'd been snatched. Anyone else remember Jamie Bugler (I think that's it, not sure) and what happened to him when his mother looked away for 3 seconds?
Nightfallz 0
ydi for assaulting a child psycho. eye for an eye I say. someone kick that bitch in the face.
Jman21 0
Well at least you have good reflexes
letitbe56 0
Look, I understand the desire to assault someone for peeping, but it's not legal. If you assault someone for peeping, you could get arrested for assault. Better just to alert security and have them deal with this person.
knitbitch 0
To all the people who said its child abuse, please shut up. It's not. I bet you anything that she's had past experiences of peeping toms in changerooms. It was instinct that she kicked the kid in the face, if she had her choice she probably wouldn't have kicked him. The mother should have been supervising her child. She obviously feels terrible about what she did, so please, stop trying to make her feel worse!
Vertoule 7
You deserve it, and by "it" I mean the ******* medal of valour! You are my new hero!
cramazing 0
atleast ya feel bad for him
ediciusNJ 0
Kid learned two good life lessons: 1) Don't peek under dressing room doors. 2) When you have an irresponsible mother, you might get kicked in the head. Too bad, so sad. I would have kicked him too.
canphotoguy 0
20 years ago I would have been enraged at this, but the fact is these days there are lots of ignorant people out there with camera phones who are genuinely doing invasive acts. So now, I'm kinda torn, I don't think it's cool to act in a violent way like this without forethought, however I can understand the girls reaction as well. Hey, I just hope the Kid was okay, today he learned to knock...
blueknight1st 26
I kick little kids in the face all the time. No worries OP you did the right thing.