Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
englishmuffin 0
wow horrible luck though i don't know if i'd kick things just out of instinct
tikimuppet 11
I would probably have done a similar thing
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (299)
pxxxy 0
i would have laughed my ass off if i had seen the kid get kicked in the face
PlasticPopsicle 0
Honestly I probably would've kicked out of instinct too. At least the kid won't grow up to be a peeping tom now ;P
nuutsacker 0
even if it was on purpose (which is incredibly unlikely), a 4-year-old peeping at someone is hardly deserving of a kick in the face. a simple talk about privacy would be sufficient. theres only one problem with physically assaulting someone for peeping: IT ISNT LEGAL! this kids mother could press charges. op - i understand that this was your instinct, but that makes it even more YDI. i find it very troubling that your natural instinct was to kick someone in the face. i would not want to meet you in a dark alley.
alixsanders 0
What kind of idiot kicks out of instinct...
Edochan_fml 0
I like your instincts xD
Bhuggy 0
That little shit deserved it
shaPOW 0
Whatever, someone had to teach him that there are better ways to find your mom than looking under dressing room doors.
jz4 0
that sucks
squibbyboo 0
hahaha this is awesome. Poor kid, but still funny!
Kervik 0
Do you think the four year old child will live happily ever after, after having them sights seen so young? O_o