Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
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Top comments
englishmuffin 0
wow horrible luck though i don't know if i'd kick things just out of instinct
tikimuppet 11
I would probably have done a similar thing
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Comments (299)
Lythiaren 8
The woman should have brought someone else with her to watch her kid. If you're going shopping for clothes, it's kind of a given that you'd likely be using the changerooms. If you have a small child with you of the opposite gender, why is there no third person to watch them while you're obviously unable or unwilling? The kid could well have been snared by a pedophile while his mother was changing. The kid didn't deserve a foot to the face from the OP, but his mother certainly does. I personally would've just shrieked like a banshee if someone was peeping under my door. If it really was a peeping tom I wouldn't have thought of kicking him in the face until long after the fact.
wi_party_boy 0
WOW! 3 new yorkers in a row! Anyways, you shouldn't kick people out of instinct, so YDI. Sorry.
newguy12 0
this FML makes me feel lucky, when i was like 4 my mom took me into the wonmens changing room at the YMCA. I got away without any kicks in the face, of course i knew better than to go looking under the stalls.....
305alive 0
******* awesome... made my day. well I hope that kid saw some big tittys
jbo300 0
kid = pwned
EffedUpVida 0
Some of you guys are ridiculous! If you're truly frightened by something or shocked or whatever, you're gunna do the first thing that comes to mind. You're not gunna think, "Hmmm, let me make sure it's not something else, or a child looking for it's mother." You're gunna kick the shit out of that mo' ******. x]
fmlcomment 2
I'm sorry, but kicking people in the face isn't an instinct. You weren't being attacked. At the most, you were potentially being leered at. Instinct is to COVER UP, not viciously attack. And who the hell did you expect to be looking? I'm sorry, but kids do that all the time. Random men don't. So yeah, you deserved it.
OMFGG 0
Her reaction was normal you idiot.
Lexia_fml 0
No, it wasn't. Unless she has amazingly bad eyesight, she would have seen that it was a child. With a tiny head. I agree with #150. Lash out first? Sounds like anger issues. Besides, why would a man risk going through the women's department, into a dressing room where there were probably other women, and try to get a peek when someone might walk in at any time? Nonsensical.
quietgirl 0
it's the parents fault. I feel awful for that kid. also the girl probably didn't get a good look at the boys face because he was so close to the ground so it's not really the girls fault although I do think a kick was a little much.
grungecat 0
Yeah seriously OP, don't feel bad. You're awesome.
Raining_up_angel 0
to all those people saying "oh my gosh why would you kick a poor kid in the face? god can't you see he's a little kid? God if someone does pep just report it to secerity YDI totaly" I mean really if someone sticks there head under the door you're not going to pause and see if it's a man or not and then raise your hand and say secerity there is a man in here watching me change and wait for them to get there. you're going to ****** flip out and kick him and get out of the room. She acted how a normal person would have you stupid fucktards