By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 21:09 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
I agree, your life sucks 8 652
You deserved it 47 717

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Is grabbing your mother's ass a normal thing for you?

Even if it was your mom why would you grab her ass?


Is grabbing your mother's ass a normal thing for you?

Viciousstorms 7

There's no way OP didn't deserve this. But now I'm curious which American state he/shes in. It could explain a lot.

#21: Another stereotype? Dear God...

21- How would that explain anything? That's not normal in any state.

Have people not learned from all the other FMLs like this one?!

blcksocks 19

Yeah I had to read the FML again to ensure if OP if fact did say "mom". If grabbing mother's ass in public is normal for OP, then I don't even want to know what goes on inside that house.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

"Honey I got your whittle weenie. Ha ha jokes on you!". "Oh mother, you're such a joker." I think it'd go something like that..

I dont think that's weird at all..

Maybe OP is a girl? I've grabbed my mother's ass before in public just to give her a little scare too.

Maybe it's a cultural thing. In my family, that's a practical joke. *shrugs*

gingerwithsoul_fml 6

"it's alright guys! It's just my mother's ass!"

PandaSpots 10

In mine too. My family is Caribbean, and the old folks love to grab on the butt.

What did you say after that? OP:"Oh sorry I groped you, I thought you were my mom."

92- so you grab your mom's ass, good to know.

It's cultural in my family also. My mom grabs dat ass. But usually the adults are "ok" to do that, but youngsters can't do it to adults. I wish it stopped at butt...

What the hell is wrong with you op? O_o

127 - I was born and raised in Saudi Arabia and I gotta agree. Ass grabbin' is quiet common over there. Guys do it to other guys too :S I personally never quiet adopted that ass lovin culture... - good country btw. I miss Riyadh every day :-(

Its something we do in pakistan too, except we do grabbing and lightly kicking or punching so i never really get used to it :$

Man, if I was that woman I'd shit myself first and then proceed to beat the hell out of you with my 10 lb hand bag.

Wait but why is it normal for you to... Crap 10 people already beat me to that comment. >.<

This is like the highest rated comment ever.

So let me get this straight... In some middle eastern countries, grabbing family ass is normal? I thought us Americans were weird

In my country we kick ass, not grab it.

It sounds to me that OP got lucky in this situation. Because, I mean, who the **** wants to grab their mother's ass?!?! Perhaps he/she thought this was MLIB.

N3766 20

Still normal compare to kiss her ass.

Why would a son want to do this to his mum? It seems like such an odd thing. Is this common practice in the USA? I know it isn't in Canada.

I can just imagine the explanation. "you see ma'am, I thought you were my mom...and...what? No, I'm being serious!"

So from this FML, I now know that in some countries it's not only normal to grab your mothers ass but also the rest of your family's too... If I did that to anyone in my family I think they'd have a panic attack and send me away.

ok so i'm not the only one freaked out by this right

When I was young, and even now still, my mom pinches my ass. But she doesn't grab it that's weird. I know when I'm playing hockey and were celebrating a goal or a win we'll slap each others asses but that's common in a lot of sports

That's the first thing I thought when I say this post

yeah, it's great to be a woman there. - if you like hell on earth. drive a car? NO! show your face? NO! leave the house without a man 'owner' (father/husband) DEAD! **** NO

Next time make sure it is your mom. Also, it would have been better if it was a sister. It is still weird, but this would be more enjoyable.

I think I have you on Facebook (the person with a cat for a profile pic)

Oh my god that's so weird you can't grab your family members ass

Even if it was your mom why would you grab her ass?

MindFreakazoid 10

Because that's just logic to OP.

elletex 8

Oh yeah, we're all a bunch of incestuous ass grabbers down here.

emily_lynne 2

Just because you are from the south, it dont mean you grab your mothers ass!

Alabama, born and bred, and I am not an ass grabbin' hillbilly yall! My grammar is not bad. I made it bad in the first sentence to show people who think of the stereotype, about how we talk, are wrong.

Psych101 9

42- It seems you vastly underestimated the amount of southern people on FML. On an unrelated note, it sure is hotter than a fried squirrel in the middle of July down here. Y'all.

103, Your grammar isn't all that great either. The commas in the last sentence were completely unnecessary. Yes, I agree that the stereotype of "hics" and "hillbillies" and "rednecks" having bad grammar is just that, a stereotype, but after all... All stereotypes have root in the truth. Nowadays it doesn't matter where you're from though, bad grammar has spread through the world like a plague.

Llama_Face89 33

I dedicate a song to OP... I like big butts and I can not lie You other brothers can't deny That when your mom walks in with an itty bitty waist And a round thing in your face You get sprung...

103- Your spelling could use some help. It's "hicks."

...let me modify the song a bit more... :-) You like big butts and you can not lie We other brothers can't deny That when your mon walks in with an itty bitty waist And a round thing in your face You get sprung... Much better ;-)

131, I was taught that commas can surround a spot that is like a side comment. Something about if you can read it without the stuff in the commas, its fine.

Psych101 9

155- You should be able to remove what is in the commas and have it make sense. However, in your case, the commas were not only unnecessary but poor grammar. Commas are used to indicate a slight pause, which your sentence did not have or need.

131- Those commas were to indicate a pause in the sentence. 133- I never even mentioned the word hicks so how could I have misspelled it?

173, I used two commas: one at the start to indicate who I was talking to, one at the end to indicate a pause.

#195 if you didn't use hicks in the sentence, why do you think they were correcting you? They were correcting #131

236- he had put the number 103 which was my comment number, that is why I was saying that.

Lol that comment didn't say anything about you misspelling anything. It just said your grammar was less than 100%.

....Why would you do that to your mom anyway???

rocketshock 8

I slap my mom's ass. Is that considered as weird?:o

happyday123_321 2

Didn't yo momma teach you to not go around grabbing other people's asses?? Apparently OP's mom didn't....

SystemofaBlink41 27

175- i slap my mom in the ass, but i'm just playing around obviously... She does it to me too cause I get super pissed and she thinks it's funny... The point is, it may be weird, but it's not really "unacceptable"... Unless the son does it to get turned on, (*shudders*) then yeah, that's pretty....disturbing....

185, slapping and grabbing are two very different things, whether it your mom or your girlfriend. I know you specifically didn't mention a girlfriend, but think of the implications of doing each to her. Slapping implies a more playful tone, while grabbing implies a more intimate meaning. Slapping your mom's ass could be considered more socially acceptable, whereas grabbing mom's ass tends to have more of a shutter affect. Joking or not...

175- I personally don't even do it to my girlfriend, I have respect for women... But I was raised differently then everyone else, so you can't blame me

itsame0987 18

Why would you grab your mom's ass anyway? That is just weird. Ydi op

MolesterStallone 13

I hope his moms ass is the only thing he intends to grab...

These are the easy FMLs. I didn't even need to read halfway before promptly hitting Ydi. I'm sorry but that was stupid and wrong on so many levels it's painful to read.

So grabbing someones ass is fine if your related to them. I will keep that in mind...

OhMinty 5

Why would you do that in the first place anyway?

hahasooo 2

Stop with all the comments having to do with the questions of"why would you do that?"

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Well..why would you do that?

Dekarian 7

110 - I don't think many people on this site are going to get that joke, at least not for the right reason.

# 34 they all posted at pretty much the same time. Sorry they didn't read each others minds first in an attempt to avoid annoying you.

110 - Best comment on this thread by a long way. Thank you

If you think about it, it's your mother's fault for bringing you up that way.

Yeah, probably should've checked for a name tag before you made your move. Grabbing the store manager's ass is NEVER a good idea.

I'm not what grocery stores you've been to where the employees wear their name tags on their asses.

They simply said it wasn't their mom. They would have probably mentioned if it had been the store manager. It was probably another innocent shopper. YDI for sure, Op. You grab your mother's ass to scare her? That might scare her but not the way you intended.

Guilty as charged. I occasionally speculate to make for a more interesting comment, or when I can't think of anything else to say. The hair dye FML would be an example. They're either hit or miss; in this case, the latter.

i understand what you were trying to say :P

Who would do that in public anyway!?!? YDI

flutter4 7

What child in their right mind would grab their mother's ass?

Mommyof2_91 10

Yeah, jeeze you should really grab your moms ass in the privacy of your own home... WTF?

Well, hey there Oedipus.. Sorry it wasn't your mom.

ImmaB3AST 7

Oedipus was the first mother ******! Sorry. It reminded me of a song.