Today, a guest came to the front desk and pretended to have a gun under his shirt while demanding passes to the water park. He was shocked when I had security remove him - he thought it was a funny joke. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we went to an amusement park, or tried to. My idiot husband stuck his hand under his shirt like a gun and demanded free passes and "all the cash" as a joke. He's banned for life, they escorted us off the premises, and my children are inconsolable. FML
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, I learned that you can't fool the self-checkout scanner by taking six items and only paying for two. Sometimes, two big security guards may grab you by both arms and take you to their office. To convince them to let me off the hook, I desperately said that it was just a joke. They weren't laughing. FML
Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML
Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML
Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML
Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML
Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I was security at a shopping centre and tried to stop a guy from drinking in public. He told me to fuck off and "go play cops and robbers somewhere else", so I tried to escort him to the security office. He picked me up with one hand and threw me in the fountain. My boss let him go with a warning. I hate my job. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
That's a shitty joke. Hopefully, we have law punishing crappy comedy! It might have been chuckle-worthy if he claimed he had a water gun.
Kraths 16
There's easier ways to get into a water park without pass, most are surrounded by chain link fences. However I fail to see the reasoning as why you wouldn't pay, here the day passes are like 5 bucks with season passes being 100. This also doesn't explain why someone is trying to swim this close to fall and in the middle of a pandemic
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
That's a shitty joke. Hopefully, we have law punishing crappy comedy! It might have been chuckle-worthy if he claimed he had a water gun.
Kraths 16
There's easier ways to get into a water park without pass, most are surrounded by chain link fences. However I fail to see the reasoning as why you wouldn't pay, here the day passes are like 5 bucks with season passes being 100. This also doesn't explain why someone is trying to swim this close to fall and in the middle of a pandemic