Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
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Top comments
englishmuffin 0
wow horrible luck though i don't know if i'd kick things just out of instinct
tikimuppet 11
I would probably have done a similar thing
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Comments (299)
asnider 0
I swear I saw this exact same FML---word for word---a few weeks ago. Why is it on here again?
hahayousuck1 0
haha **** children they are all retards and should be killed
buckfasthero 0
To everyone who keeps banging on about how it is 'bad' instinct to kick someone on the face has no concept of the meaning of the word 'instinct'. There's no good or bad instinct, as when something done instinctively (like swiftly pulling your hand away from a hot plate) the motor system by-passes the brain and there is no thought process involved. You don't think 'Oh, it's a good idea for me to take my hand away from this plate which is now currently burning through my skin.' You just do it. Pay more attention in science class.
C_LYN1234 0
that's terrible, but if I saw a head peeking under my door, id kick too.....too bad its a child
cohen_fml 0
haha #262 ur such a nerd
ninjanate 0
kid deserves it. kick it in the fukin face as hard as u can.
swampfox93 0
deserves it dumb kid should have been asking from the other side not peaking in. dont fyl, be grateful for your good reflexes and instinctive kicking skills.
Norther 1
Happend to me to :-P Only im a 14 year old boy, and the person who saw, was a 45 year old man. I got a shit load of money from him, and he went to jail xD Ahhh.... easy money^^
cyanidesandwich 21
i feel sad for the kid now. YDI for making him cry.
michael666 7
u had e every right to, and that's great ur instincts tell u to kick, what the **** else shud u do when someone looks at u when ur changing