Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
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Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
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Top comments
englishmuffin 0
wow horrible luck though i don't know if i'd kick things just out of instinct
tikimuppet 11
I would probably have done a similar thing
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Comments (299)
mustangsami118 5
so not your fault..the mother should be looking after her kid..you should have kicked her in the face too
swimtilyoudrown 0
HAHA! But still, poor kid. How did it go? Was he OK?
JanisEvans 10
Not your fault, parenting fail...
sheni_009 0
I hate it when kids do stuff like that! It'll teach him not to do that ever again at least...
oooshiny 0
The same thing happened to me but I was in an airport bathroom! So instead of just being half-naked I was pooping. Maybe worse? IDK. But fml decided my story wasn't fml-y enough. So kudos to you for bringing this issue to light! ;)
Stpatch754 0
serves the little kid right, tough love, i would have done the same thing.
congratz13 2
Wow, to everyone saying that you shouldn't kick people in the face for looking: What the hell? Oh yes, we wouldn't want to hurt the Peeping Toms, would we? If they decide it's fine and dandy to watch someone undress without their permission, that someone should be able to kick those motherfuckers in their face! They totally deserve that! To everyone saying "OMG you can't distinguish between a 4-year-old and a man what's wrong with you?!": When you see a face peeking under the door of your dressing room, are you really gonna CHECK to see how old they are? As the OP said, it was instinct. And to the people somehow deciding that the OP enjoys kicking small children in the face: She obviously doesn't, or she wouldn't have written an FML. She probably thought it was some weird pervert. I highly doubt that, every time she sees a 4-year-old, she takes advantage of the situation and kicks their face. FYL, OP. Your instinct was perfectly reasonable. I guess it was just too much effort for the mom to at the very least tell her kid which dressing room she was in.
nuutsacker 0
even if it was on purpose (which is incredibly unlikely), a 4-year-old peeping at someone is hardly deserving of a kick in the face. a simple talk about privacy would be sufficient. theres only one problem with physically assaulting someone for peeping: IT ISNT LEGAL! this kids mother could press charges. op - i understand that this was your instinct, but that makes it even more YDI. i find it very troubling that your natural instinct was to kick someone in the face. i would not want to meet you in a dark alley.
manderpander 0
Hopefully the little shit learned something.
InspiredByGaGa 8
Hey mothers: Next time, get a god damn baby sitter! If you can't afford a baby sitter, you probably shouldn't have had a god damn kid in the first place!
jimmi92 0
im pretty sure you would have been able to tell the difference between a four year old kid and a grown man. for one an adult would have to get down on his knees to look...a little kid wouldn't. dumb ass.