Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML
Today, I realized I've been acting very paranoid lately. I was mugged a few weeks ago, so I've been nervous. I've been holding my hands in my pockets and looking around on my way outside from work. Apparently, that's grounds to arrest someone under suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon. FML
Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML
Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML
Today, I realized my paranoia is really bad when I saw my coworker holding a knife and immediately began thinking of ways to keep him from stabbing me. I work in a restaurant kitchen. FML
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
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Top comments
Gucci_Girl 2
who'd you stab?
perdix 31
You shouldn't have been wearing your new hockey mask at the same time.
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Comments (241)
some1azn 0
Geez, were you wearing a white mask and a janitor's outfit too??? :
ilikeemsmall 4
I still think it had something to do with the hockey mask.
mandoalba 5
its because it is a fixed blade so it is considered a dangerous weapon and if u have it in your car you should have had it in the trunk so that way it is not in reach and not easy access to it
daxter136 0
cops are so dumb and annoying now
Key_Of_Awesome 1
cops arrest you now for the littlest stuff. I know it does look suspicious
wrigglezeus 0
Your from London, what did you expect to happen while carrying a knife lol. Always hearing about knife crime in London on the news.
geeksaresexy 18
And Cardiff is sooooo much better lol
bigmanj28 0
give them a reason to arrest uou
Ugi 27
If you are not allowed to carry it home then the shop should not be allowed to sell it. Clearly that would be madness and pretty soon we would all be forced to make dinner with small pairs of round-ended scissors. I'm pretty sure knives have to be sold in heavy-duty packaging so you can't just whip the thing out and get all stabby with it. If it was still in that packaging then there should be no problem. If you had unpacked it and were messing around with it then obviously that's a totally different issue.
machine0020 0
you must live in the pussy ass UK...
geeksaresexy 18
That would be why the FML says 'United Kingdom (London)' underneath it. There is nothing wrong with the UK so grow up.
jennabell86 0
Maybe you should have waited to put the Michael Myers mask on until you got home