Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML
Today, I realized I've been acting very paranoid lately. I was mugged a few weeks ago, so I've been nervous. I've been holding my hands in my pockets and looking around on my way outside from work. Apparently, that's grounds to arrest someone under suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon. FML
Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML
Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML
Today, I realized my paranoia is really bad when I saw my coworker holding a knife and immediately began thinking of ways to keep him from stabbing me. I work in a restaurant kitchen. FML
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
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Top comments
Gucci_Girl 2
who'd you stab?
perdix 31
You shouldn't have been wearing your new hockey mask at the same time.
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Comments (241)
GetOwnedPuppy 0
like... butterknife or steak knife?
peebrain34 0
u can't get arrested for that, DUMBASS
OhLohd111 11
I see that you've certainly earned your username, peebrain. Laws vary from country to country and the fact of the matter is that we don't know the whole story.
geeksaresexy 18
Just out of interest peebrain where are you from?
Bobissmall 13
Probably the USA
OhLohd111 11
yes, unfortunately all of the idiotic Americans who have no concept of cultural influence beyond their own make the rest of us look bad.
geeksaresexy 18
I had an argument with and american higher up on the comments about shooting trespassers.. I'm from the UK and apparently I know more about US law than they do..
OhLohd111 11
I read that... like I said, idiotic Americans... sometimes they are good for a laugh :)
geeksaresexy 18
Clearly there are dumb people everywhere. It's unfortunate that there are a lot of stupid Americans on this site making the rest of America look stupid. There are plenty of stupid Brits on here too though! lol
crzy4life 0
the ? is were u using it as a weapon
dannyboy66 7
ill show u how to use that knifethen we can kill lowis!!!!
ManaUser 0
Every once in a great while, something like this reminds me that there are in fact things about my own country that don't suck as bad as they could.
rattusrattus 19
Order them off the internet, especially if you're young. The general perception of the 'youth of today' is that we're all maniacs who stab people and take drugs whilst having lots and lots of unprotected sex and eating fatty food. I blame the newspapers. The scare rags have really gone downhill since they stopped letting syphilitic crazies be editors. (I'm not kidding...)
richard121212 0
exactly why nobody likes ******* policemen
quickdog93 4
That's what you get for living in the UK.
geeksaresexy 18
As opposed to? Living in the US where the policeman would've just shot her instead?
ironwolf56 5
No where no one would have cared because the US doesn't think anything from toothpicks and up makes you a dangerous criminal.
CaptainObvious91_fml 0
that's what you get for leaving the kitchen
ironwolf56 5
Just one more reason I'm glad to be a citizen and not a "subject of the crown."