Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Armed and not dangerous
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML
Am I being detained?
Today, I realized I've been acting very paranoid lately. I was mugged a few weeks ago, so I've been nervous. I've been holding my hands in my pockets and looking around on my way outside from work. Apparently, that's grounds to arrest someone under suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon. FML
Bad boys bad boys
Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML
The long arm of the law
Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML
Today, I realized my paranoia is really bad when I saw my coworker holding a knife and immediately began thinking of ways to keep him from stabbing me. I work in a restaurant kitchen. FML
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
Leg it
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Top comments
Gucci_Girl 2
who'd you stab?
perdix 31
You shouldn't have been wearing your new hockey mask at the same time.
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Comments (241)
writergirl23 19
ok that policeman musta had a bad day and not reached his quota. don't worry in new Zealand this is pretty much daily life for cop-pigs and so is not worth an fml.
xxLifexx 0
this is why i love the US
The_Great_Zucchi 15
UK
chronicxxl 0
**** the police
apegirl907 0
were u running and covered in blood?
WOGBRO 6
This doesn't add up how is she posting this from prison. I am pretty sure that people don't have computers and stuff when they are in prison.
StrongDrinks 0
that's ok. it's ok to bring a gun on a bus in British Columbia but golf clubs are seen as a weapon and not aloud
PimpDaddyB 0
U should have stab that mother Fcker
fucmylifealot 0
should have bought a gun instead and NOT worn your KKK sheet
geeksaresexy 18
In the UK where we don't have the KKK or many guns..
HunterAlpha1 8
things like this never fail to make me glad i live in the US. from what i've heard the UK is a cesspool and getting worse.
bugmenotmofo 34
Agreed. I love my second amendment. Enjoy cutting your steak with a spoon.
geeksaresexy 18
I'd rather live here than somewhere that allows the WBC to spew their hatred all over the place tbh
HunterAlpha1 8
i would rather live where the WBC can spew their filth(and where we can also beat the shit out of them if they ever come to our home town) than live in a place where the government denies their people the basic human right to defend their lives.
geeksaresexy 18
We are allowed to protect ourselves FFS I wish you morons would get that through your thick skulls! WE CAN DEFEND OURSELVES. What we are not allowed to do is use deadly force, there's a MASSIVE difference. If someone breaks into my house and comes at me with a knife I can use a knife to defend myself. If they happen to get killed it's fine. If I deliberately killed them with a knife when they are unarmed or I chase them into the street with the knife THEN it's a problem. How many times do I have to explain this to people? You clearly don't know much about UK laws (and I wouldn't expect you to!!) so why would you pull facts out of your ass? We are allowed to protect our lives! We can kill someone in self-defence as long as it IS self-defence.
HunterAlpha1 8
problem is, when someone threatens your life you should make sure they're dead. because if they escape they will very likely come back when you're asleep or at work etc. and get revenge on you for defending yourself, especially if you injured them.
geeksaresexy 18
Maybe where you live! Here if you injure someone they'll realise you're not an easy target and won't try it again. Like I said, if you kill someone in self defence it's fine as long as the weapon you use is legal (kitchen knife, cricket bat etc) and as long as you don't take the weapon out onto the street with you chasing them. The latter part is the same in the US, you can't attack someone in the street because they broke into your house. Once they're off your property you're breaking the law if you attack them.
geeksaresexy 18
Maybe where you live! Here if you injure someone they'll realise you're not an easy target and won't try it again. Like I said, if you kill someone in self defence it's fine as long as the weapon you use is legal (kitchen knife, cricket bat etc) and as long as you don't take the weapon out onto the street with you chasing them. The latter part is the same in the US, you can't attack someone in the street because they broke into your house. Once they're off your property you're breaking the law if you attack them.
HunterAlpha1 8
i said "very likely", especially if they're in a gang. and in many states, and soon(hopefully) here in Virginia, you will be able to defend yourself anywhere you have a legal right to be thanks to the Castle Doctrine, essentially turning the majority of the populace into a defacto police force. and the same goes for legal weapons, but there are far more, more efficient "legal" weapons to use(the government of england doesn't have the right to deny you the means to own and use a firearm to defend yourself. they do it anyway, but that's government for you).
geeksaresexy 18
We don't have much of an issue with gangs here. Most of the problems we have in the UK are drug and alcohol related like drink driving. Nothing to do with guns, gangs or any of that shit. As far as I'm concerned it is NOT a fundamental right to own a gun! Also when you get shot who pays for you to get patched up at the hospital if you don't have insurance? My government does, does yours? Nope, didn't think so. Sorry, you have gangs and no free healthcare and my country is a cesspool?
HunterAlpha1 8
ok, let me guess: you also don't have a fundamental right to freedom of speech, freedom of press, freedom of religion(not for long anyway), freedom of safety from cruel and unusual punishment and search and seizures, and soon, you won't even have the right to your own life! that's right! coming soon to you; government controlled life! want to be an artist? too bad, the government wants you to be an auto mechanic! has it always been your dream to be a scientist? sucks for you, you're going to be a soldier instead. but wait, there's more! if you have any complaints, all you have to do is report to your local commissar for processing and transportation to your local concentra-err, excuse me, "reeducation " camp. all of this for the low, low price of: do whatever the government tells you to do and believe everything they say! give up your freedom today!
geeksaresexy 18
Clearly if you were in charge everything would be legal and free and easy.. People shooting each other in the street? Self defence you say? Oh that's OK then! Dealing drugs to kids? That's your career choice? That's OK then! Next you'll be saying rape can't exist within a marriage and it's OK to beat your partner..
HunterAlpha1 8
oh, i see, so if you're not a government brainwashed robot then you're a sister ******* redneck barbarian. now i know why you live in england. i'm sure glad you don't live here in the US! now, if only we could figure out a way to get all the people like you out of my country, and all the people who want to be free out of your country, this would be a much easier world to live in.
geeksaresexy 18
So when you use ridiculously extreme examples to illustrate your point it's OK but I can't do the same? I'm not a 'government brainwashed robot' just because I don't like guns. I don't agree with everything the government does. I didn't even vote for our current bull shit coalition government! You think I blindly follow my government because I agree with one set of laws we have? If you agree with the gun laws in your country does that make you a government brainwashed robot? No it doesn't.. Your argument makes no sense. If you put all the people like me in the UK and all the people like you in the US you'd only invade us anyway so what's the point? Why not just carpet bomb us and get it over with..
AmeliaBadelia 0
Let me guess: you have priors... ... ...