Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML
Today, I realized I've been acting very paranoid lately. I was mugged a few weeks ago, so I've been nervous. I've been holding my hands in my pockets and looking around on my way outside from work. Apparently, that's grounds to arrest someone under suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon. FML
Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML
Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML
Today, I realized my paranoia is really bad when I saw my coworker holding a knife and immediately began thinking of ways to keep him from stabbing me. I work in a restaurant kitchen. FML
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
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Top comments
Gucci_Girl 2
who'd you stab?
perdix 31
You shouldn't have been wearing your new hockey mask at the same time.
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Comments (241)
EnterChoose 1
So the cop just randomly stopped you and said "we need to search your car for suspicous, dangerous items." Then when they searched your car, they should've at least seen that the knife was in the bag. And if it wasn't, then that's OP's fault. But then again, she could've fixed it by showing the recipt.
geeksaresexy 18
OP never said she was in a car.. Police can stop and search you anyway.
EnterChoose 1
I stand corrected.
hmna 0
It's no wonder British "cuisine" is so unremarkable. You can't even buy a good knife for your kitchen without the cops harassing you. Maybe the bobbies can raid a restaurant or two and run in all the sous chefs.
Siji 0
I carry my 14" combat knife sometimes. (In Texas) It's only illegal if it's concealed or on the property of an establishment where possession of said weapon is prohibited.
geeksaresexy 18
But OP lives in London.. and how do you carry it without it being concealed? On your belt or something?
HunterAlpha1 8
precisely. it would be very difficult to conceal a 14" blade.
hottottie 0
I'm guessing theirs more to this story..
eyepuppy 31
That's exactly what I was thinking.
hideyoself 4
I'd bought? lol
geeksaresexy 18
Erm.. what?
mrjude 3
That is proper English. It's a contraction of the term "I had bought".
geeksaresexy 18
I wasn't quite sure what #125 was getting at.. I didn't see a problem with what OP said either.
pinkspaceboundro 0
well if you just bought it, why didn't you show him the receipt, they usually have the date and time on them, and maybe even a phone number.
schwingy 0
seriously?! I frequently care an 6" blade hunting knife on my belt and I haven't had anything like that happen
geeksaresexy 18
Are you in the UK though?
machine0020 0
Guess when a bad guy comes after you, you have to beat them off with a stick. Nice country.
Pazu_fml 10
This FML is missing two key details. Was it in its packaging? How did they know you had a knife in the first place? If you were waving around a knife that wasn't concealed or packaged properly, YDI.
geeksaresexy 18
Police can stop and search you anyway. My guess would be OP was carrying it in a carrier bag in its packaging. Knives aren't always packaged well so it's pretty obvious what's in the bag.
pike1346 3
do u live in Iran?