Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML
Today, I realized I've been acting very paranoid lately. I was mugged a few weeks ago, so I've been nervous. I've been holding my hands in my pockets and looking around on my way outside from work. Apparently, that's grounds to arrest someone under suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon. FML
Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML
Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML
Today, I realized my paranoia is really bad when I saw my coworker holding a knife and immediately began thinking of ways to keep him from stabbing me. I work in a restaurant kitchen. FML
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
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Top comments
Gucci_Girl 2
who'd you stab?
perdix 31
You shouldn't have been wearing your new hockey mask at the same time.
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Comments (241)
ItWasAllWorthIt 0
Why did they suspect anything in the first place? Unless the knife was visible, & in that case, get a bag next time. Fyl.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
I hate to ask. But what was all worth it? xD
flighted 1
WHY DO GIRLS MAKE THAT FREAKIN FACE ???!!! ugh I'm sorry but I'm so passionate about this. it's the duck face evolved: still stupid as ****
rebekahah 7
well it would look a little suspicious.
parxxx 0
I luv ur hair
instnt1nfction 17
especially if OP had a ballistic knife
ripgeorgecarlin 2
It sucks being a minority, doesn't it?
perdix 31
You shouldn't have been wearing your new hockey mask at the same time.
anonymou5e 6
Comments like those are the reason I read FML's XD
jellitonoctopus 19
haha! that's too funny.
no65438 0
you should have put it in a bag or made it not visible. ydi.
cgchamp89 7
Not a bad idea... OP is apparently lacking common sense though.
BigHoshJosh 0
tool
lovinit5683 0
Shoud've put it in a case then in a bag from the store. Then you wouldn't have had the problem.
hellogoodbye1996 6
I really love your picture
cgchamp89 7
She better move... she's gonna get hit by a train!!!
lovinit5683 0
I wouldn't be sitting there if a train was coming.. and thank you 50 (:
MrXerxes5 6
YDI. if it was bagged or in a box/case they wouldn't have stopped you.
flighted 1
yeah. they were probably waving it out the window, threatening everybody who looked at them.
BountyBass 13
knifes don't kill people! I do
LolMoqz 10
You killed Kenny! You Bastard! D':
flighted 1
Ohhh I see what you did there
nmearayta 0
you didn't hear about the rouge chef that escaped from the insane asylum? now anyone wearing a chef hat or carrying a knife will have to be taken in.
ThisGi 0
there has to be more to the story