By ouchouchouch - 28/03/2012 04:16 - Canada - Winnipeg
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12, 65, 97 - actually, it is positive punishment. Positive reinforcement = slapping her to make her pick her nose more often Negative reinforcement = slapping her all the time except when she picks her nose so she does it more Positive punishment = slapping her when she picks her nose so she does it less
OP chose a very appropriate name. It says more about this FML than any commenter ever could.
Why is it that everyone under the age of 30 thinks they need to pierce everything? You look ridiculous and you are hurting your chances of landing a good job or advancement. Where I work we can afford to be very selective, particularly in this down economy. When we are interviewing for a position and someone comes in with a piercing or a hole where they have removed a stud, we immediately say "NEXT." We have over 200 applicants for every opening and we don't need someone who thinks looking like a pincushion is the way to go. It has been my observation that younger people mock their peers who 'sell out' but those are the people who are getting the jobs and promotions over the 'tattoo and piercings and pants down around their knees' crowd. Really, what is wrong with everyone? Is it too much to ask that people show up for work in decent pants, a button down shirt and actual shoes? No one wants to see dirty flip flop feet or watch a co-worker fiddle with a nose piercing at their desk, much less send those slobs out into the field where they would represent the company.
That's a very snobbish comment to make about people... A lot of companies nowadays allow people freedom of expression and aren't so elitist as to refuse someone a position if they have a visible piercing or tattoo. If they're good at their job, they're hired no matter what they look like. Surely that's what counts?
I knew someone would say this. If you have a choice of over 200 people and they are all fairly equitable in intelligence, ability and education, then why would you pick the one who looks like a whore over the one who is smart enough to show her respect and interest in actually obtaining the position by wearing a (gasp) suit? If picking people who have enough common sense to not look like trash, comb their hair, cover their asses and wear proper undergarments and real shoes to a job interview makes me snobbish, then I am proud to admit I am the world's biggest snob and work for a company of snobs. You think dressing like an asshole is an act of 'self-expression' when it is, in fact, a demonstration of a lack of common sense, a lack of respect for your potential employers and co-workers, and an inability to perceive how your appearance impacts your marketability. This is why you are losing out on career opportunities to others who conform to basic business attire. By showing up at work looking like you're going to the beach, you are implicitly stating to your bosses and colleagues, "I don't respect you enough to dress appropriately in your presence and I don't respect our customers enough to dress in a professional manner for them." What would make you think companies are seeking that out? It isn't just about your ability to do a job; it's also about your appearance, whether you like it or not or think it's fair or unfair. By dressing nicely you show that you care about the job, care about the company and care about your colleagues and customers, that you 'get it' and are willing to conform to the office standards. Looking like a slob subliminally suggests laziness to employers. If you are too lazy to dress properly, it makes them wonder what other shortcuts you are taking. It's a down ecomony and jobs are scarce. Do yourselves a favor and listen to me. I am in a position where I have a say in hirings and this is what people in my position are looking for.
Having a nose piercing doesn't make you any trashier than the next person. Piercings, tattooes and any form of body art is as much self expression as your hair cut, clothing or other types of jewelry. Not everyone wants to work at a ginormous suit/dress type work, and not everyone place discriminates like that. To each his own.
I agree that appearance is extremely important when going out for a business job, but I have to point out that dressing well and being presentable are completely different from having piercings and tattoos. Many people do get them because they are bandwagoning idiots, but many others get them because they have a genuine love and passion for them. I love mine and would never regret them. Furthermore, you might be very surprised to see what some of your employees have under their business attire. I've known men who go to work with suits over their tattoo sleeves, and women who cover their tattoos and nipple piercings to go to the office. There do exist fully professional people who are passionate about body modifications.
Thanks, 64. It's just that I simply can't figure it out. People who are desperate for work show up at our office eager for the interview but don't bother to 'dress the part' then those same people cry that they have been out of college for two years and are still working in retail or waiting tables. When they are told to shape up their wardrobe they take it as an insult to their self-expression and individuality and act like the hirers are the assholes for having a basic dress code. If a company is paying you, then they have the right to expect you to dress to their specifications within reason. Shoes, bras, shirts without slogans and covered rear ends are within reason. If it is too painful for you to put on a pair of chinos or Dockers, a shirt that has buttons and no writing on it, shoes (and hose of some kind!) and not have your naked ass hanging out of your pants or your bouncing breasts visible through your shirt, then you need to understand that you are not going to be hired by certain companies. Your choices are to dress as expected or seek employment where your attire is acceptable. It's not that hard.
I agree with 76. I have 3 tattoos, 2 are very easily covered and the one on my wrist just takes a band-aid to hide. I thought of being "professional" before I got my tattoos. Should I now not be hired? Having a tattoo doesn't mean you're trashy. A lot of trashy people have tattoos, yes, but having one doesn't mean you're trashy. I still enjoy dressing up, but I still love flip-flops too. I know when each is appropriate. They stereotyping that went on in a couple of these replies was really pathetic...
Bankrupt, I'm not trashy looking just because I have a nose ring. Nor do I show half of my butt or wear broken jeans. Or ANYTHING you're stated that it seems you think pierced people do. And you know what? I'd rather have a nice person working for me, than someone who spits out prejudices and shit like you do.
It makes them unworthy of being hired by my company. Let's see, who should I pick to send into the field to represent us on an assignment...the slutty looking chick with the bizarre hair color not found in nature, the tats and piercings all over her body, the low rise pants exposing her ass and thong, the scruffy pant legs that are too long and are frayed but still fail to hide her flip flops, the layers of tank tops that still fail to hide the fact that she is braless, and the makeup that makes her look like a racoon with fushia lips or the woman in the good slacks and a nice shirt with proper shoes, hose and undergarments, hair looking neat and combed and subtle makeup? Duh. It isn't just about my personal preference, although really, why would you want to look like trash? It is about how OTHERS will perceive this person who is representing the company that I, as a hirer, must consider. Will I lose an advertiser because they were turned off by my rep's appearance? Will I lose an exclusive because the subject perferred to be interviewed by someone whose appearance didn't disgust them? Actually, I know why you want to look like trash. It's so you can scream 'snob' at people who look at you, think you look like trash and pass you over for jobs because of it, then bitch and cry that it's not your fault you're 25 and still slinging burgers, it's the fault of the snobs who didn't hire you because of your appearance, and went for the asshole 'sellouts' who dressed like respectful adults. It's an easy crutch for why your career never lifted off. You are what you wear. I am a big shot. I dress like a big shot. Even when I was a nobody I still dressed like a big shot because I wanted to be a big shot someday and by dressing the part I subtly conveyed the message to my superiors that I was on the 'big shot track.' I got almost every job or promotion I went for and some promotions were offered to me without ever being posted in part because I 'dressed the part' so supervisors knew they could count on me to not embarrass the company with my appearance. This allowed me to win the 'jump balls' for promotions over peers who didn't think they needed to take their work wardrobe seriously. The saddest, funniest thing about all this to me is how the slobs fight so hard to hang on to their right to looking like idiots and scream 'snob' at me when the easiest change you can possibly make to upgrade or jump start your career is to shape up your wardrobe and appearance. It's not, me, it's YOU.
Okay, let's stop equating having tattoos and piercings with "sagging pants" and the inability to know how to dress for a job (or job interview)--those are two TOTALLY different things. I have tattoos and piercings (obviously), but that doesn't mean that when I went for a job interview I didn't know how to dress: I wore a nice, long-sleeved suit like the rest of 'em. My body mods are also not indicative of any type of personality, except possibly more liberal, I suppose. They certainly don't automatically make me some anti-business, socially awkward, un-hirable thug--even in the snobbiest of workplaces. I think you need to update your stereotypes, mr bankrupt.
You do realize that a piercing does not define how qualified someone is for a job, or who they are as a person. Especially so if it's just one piercing. I got a tiny diamond stud in my nose about a month ago because I think it's pretty. That doesn't mean I'm going to screw up my life and become an awful person. Having a needle shoved through your face doesn't constitute a personality change.
You are missing the point. By wearing the saggy pants and having tattoos and piercings everywhere, you are creating a career hurdle for yourself. Now you have to prove that you're better than how you dress. Wouldn't it just be easier to just look appropriate? When I was first starting out in my career, you dressed for the job. Nowadays you dress for the club you plan to get drunk at after work. You are showing management that work is an incidental part of your day en route to your evening and not a priority. So by extention management is wondering exactly how much work you are planning to do in a day since you are clearly only concerned with what club you are going to. Then you bitch and moan that you are passed over for a promotion for the 'suck up' who dressed like a nerd. We are back to this fact that I can't drum into your stupid, stubborn skulls; it doesn't matter if you can do the job if you don't get the job because you can't figure out how to dress yourself, cover your tattoos (my God, why are you idiots defacing your bodies in the first place?) and yank out all of your ridiculous piercings (again, why are you idiots defacing yourselves?). And getting the job is NOT a license to show off your tats and piercings and break out the flip flops and saggy pants. We have hired people and tossed them right out the door for failing to adhere to the dress code. Once again, boneheads; it is a seller's market. You don't toe the line, we dump you and say "NEXT" until we find someone who can somehow manage to show up for work on time and dressed like they actually hope to make a good impression. The market is loaded and young, recent graduates are now competing for jobs with older, more experienced workers. In addition to their superior resumes, older workers understand what a dress code is and how to follow it. Right now we are trending toward the older applicants because we don't have to spend two weeks explaining to them that they can't wear flip flops to a meeting, they have more experience and knowledge and they are willing to take the job at the entry salary. Why would we pick some sour-faced, sloppy kid over that? We'd love to hire a decent younger person but frankly, we haven't interviewed one in years.
After reading all of your rambling posts...You really need to stop talking in circles.. No one dresses that way to work. Tattoos and piercings don't mean you wear saggy pants and flip flops. Yadda yadda, we've covered this a thousand times already. To everyone else, I think arguing with this guy is pointless, so let's leave him to his long paragraphs directed at no one but some imaginary group of people he likes to blame for all the problems of the world. This may or may not be some kind of psychological disorder, and I could be wrong, but it seems highly probable that 'Mr. Bigshot' chose his username for a reason.
1. Just because you have had people apply to the job with a lot of tattoos while wearing flipflops does not mean that everyone with tats does. It was like with that black kid that was murdered recently, just because he was black does not mean he was a thug and deserved to be shot down. Judging people on their careers ended years ago. People have lives outside of being peons of the system. Some people with no tattoos and piercings don't know how to dress, bathe, or act either. 2. You don't have to hire anyone you don't want to. But saying that the reason they are not hired is the tattoos and piercing makes no sense in the argument. You didn't hire everyone of those 200 applicants with nice hair, clear skin, a suit and hose. You had to turn down "normal" people too. I have seen lots of people with tattoos get jobs. 3. I have a tattoo and normal employment. My sister has six tattoos. We put them in places that can be hidden by clothing. Her tattoos do not go above her shoulders and are on her torso and shoulders. That said, my unrespectable tattoo is the name of my little brother who died pushing me out of the way of a car. Not all tattoos are tacky or giant anime chicks with huge boobs. Many of them have some deeper meaning to the person who got them.
Bankrupt--no one cares about your "big shot company" or wants to be a part of it especially If the qualifications are to be a ignorant, conceited ass hole such as yourself. Do us all a favor and shut the fuck up about how awesome you are. Frankly, your small insignificant brain fails to see the fact that tattoos do not equal "trashy, ass hang out sluts" God your disgusting I wish I could slap the fuck out of you right now.
I think in this case, Op might be excused. I don't agree with slapping people at all. I don't get why people think slapping someone when they are doing something "gross" is okay. The mother should have just said, "Are you picking your nose?" That said, on the respect argument... I agree you should respect your parents and treat your elders with the respect earned by their life experience. I do not think that every parent deserves respect just because they pop you out. Some parents are unreasonable, abusive, rude or mean to their children. Respect is earned, love is given. You should love your parents and respect them but sometimes this ideal is not possible when your parents let you down all the time or hurt you. I am not saying Op's mother is abusive to her, but when you reach a certain age your parents need to stop thinking slapping is an okay response to your seemingly "gross" behavior.
I don't respect people that don't deserve it, I would get into full screaming matches with my parents as a child when I demanded a good reason for their actions and they couldn't provide one. Often I'll try not to piss off people in power however, but that's not because I automatically respect them, I just find manipulation works better (pretty much the opposite of respect) What I'm saying is I don't give a damn if you're 14 or 41, if you're a dumbass you don't deserve my, or anyone else's, respect
I love my mother but I find it hard to respect her. Reason? I was in a very happy relationship years ago with a very nice guy. He was nice, kind, handsome. But he was black. She thought our children would be teased because I am white. She invited him over to dinner and called him the N-word. I defended him but she just laughed and said, "But you said he was a worthless sack of shit." I never said this. She later told me it was for the best because black men would not be trusted. I moved out two days later with a friend and changed colleges. I did not talk to her for three years. She got sick and I came back to help take care of my younger siblings but it takes a lot for me not to want to scream at her. She ruined my life and thought she was doing me a favor. I will probably forgive her since she is dying. But if she wasn't then I would still be keeping silence around her.
^best example of "parents can be bloody dipshits just like everyone else and don't deserve respect simply because they fucked each other and made you" I can think of. But sorry about your mum, what she did was stupid, cruel, and small minded, but she doesn't deserve to die and you don't deserve to loose a mum
I said Op could probably be excused for hitting back. However, I doubt she would have due to being in severe pain. However, Thrasher, the point is that hitting someone back does not solve anything. The mom made a stupid mistake but hitting her back doesn't make the situation better. Op was in pain but not in immediate danger where she needed to defend herself by slapping or hitting back. However, the mother does not seem to respect the Op if she is slapping her hand away like they are a child.
131 - That was a very painful story. I'm sorry things like that happen. Many parents need to learn that they must respect their child as they themselves wish to be respected. Their children are not toys or lumps of clay for them to mold into whatever it is they wish they themselves had become. They were children too once, had no understanding of the world around them, and instead of using their age and life experience against their children, ought to empathize with them. Didn't they too once wish their own parents had treated them as equals and not inferiors? A lot of parents project their insecurities and painful childhood memories in that negative way. That they demand respect simply for conceiving the child and being superior to them in age alone is extremely immature and selfish. It makes the child feel worthless and small. Not until I was old enough to defend myself from the physical and psychological abuse I had to deal with at home did I understand that I had absolutely no reason to respect people that treat me so horribly. Whenever I hear someone tell their children or anyone younger than them to respect their elders, all I hear is, "I'm bigger than you, and I can fuck you up, so fear me. I have nothing beyond my age and size to feel superior to you with." That or, "I've managed to live 45 years on this earth without accidentally killing myself in some ridiculous way just yet. Respect me for this, it's a true feat." TL;DR. Respect those who have earned it. No matter their age or relation to you.
My mother hid my keys and refused to let me leave the house. She told me if I went to look for him she was going to destroy everything in my room. I waited two days, got my stuff out and left. I talked to him online about it, told him if I left I would have nothing and really wanted to be with him. I was going to give up my family for him. He told me he could not be with a girl who had grown up around such a biggot. He broke up with me over something I didn't even do. At some point I called my friend in tears and she offered to let me stay with her until I could find a place of my own. My mother slapped me across the face when I told her this and called me a N-word's slut. She told me to move out and not to come back until I had learned my lesson.
Thanks. I have moved on now. I am in a relationship with a nice, wonderful man. He is awesome. He doesn't tell me I need to abandon my dying mother because she is racist. He is there to support me and help with my family. I appreciate his support as this is something I feel I need to do to help my siblings and come to terms with my own resentment. It might seem odd to some that I would help my mother after what she did or even love her, but deep down (under all the pain she caused me) I hope she did it out of a really fucked up version of love for me. Either way, I am the better person and will not let a dying woman be abandoned, even if she did it to me.
I know nose-picking can be a nasty habit, but for her first reaction to be to slap your hand away is just puzzling. It makes as much sense as stabbing someone's elbows with a fork if you dare lay them upon the dinner table even lightly!