Some people are just more emotionally fragile than others, be they men or women. And sometimes it’s a bad combination of events that hits a person and drives them over the edge. I assume if you’ve been with your spouse long you might have been aware of this tendency. When I was diagnosed with cancer and treated for it (I am now in remission) it was a situation when my wife relived her fears from when her parents had died of cancer. I found it hard to share my own fears because that would drive my wife into an anxiety attack sometimes. Her doctor prescribed a very low level of an anti-anxiety medication for emergencies. I also managed to get her to go to a counselor/psychologist which helped. And it helped even more once my medical situation was better. The combination of my cancer, the pandemic, and my wife’s family medical history was just too much for her at times. Interestingly enough, the really bad crisis when I was on a feeding tube for a while after the operation or later when I was throwing up daily from the chemo was not when I saw the panic attacks - It was when things were actually better but there were still unknowns medically that the panic attacks happened. I am no psychologist, but here is what seemed to help my wife’s panic attacks: (1) Counseling taught her steps to take to reduce the panic. (2) Letting her talk out her concerns and worries and me trying to be encouraging when I could. (3) When the chemo was over and my scan showed I was in remission so that the driving fear was less helped a lot. I have a younger brother who late in his life was diagnosed as having panic attacks. You wouldn’t know he had that problem by looking at him, but it has seriously impacted his job history at times. Anybody can have mental health issues. There is no shame in admitting you need help. Usually talking to a psychologist is the long term solution but sometimes professional medical help is required to get you through the short term emergency. OP, it’s bad timing this fell on your birthday. Hopefully some day your wife will make it up to you. In the meantime try to give her a sympathetic ear without trying to “fix” her. Encourage her to see a counselor if this persists.